The State Of Amanda

I'm Still Here

2011-11-13T16:59:00.006-06:00

So, I let my domain thestateofamanda.com expire. It was a tough and hard decision to make. I don't blog that often anymore and just don't care anymore. I still have the blog, just not the cool .com. Anyway, that said, it has been a long time since I've written. Last time I posted, I said I was going to quit Facebook...again. Well, that didn't last long. But here's an update on what's been going on since my last post (listed in no order in a random format).

I got a promotion at work. I am Catalog Marketing Manager with 5 people under me. It's pretty new, since June. I'm still getting used to it and learning a lot.

Frank and I went to Mexico in September with our friends Todd and Kristi for 5 days. We stayed at Valentin Imperial Maya. Same place we stayed in 2010.

All 3 dogs got shaved and now wear sweaters. It's pretty cute.

I went to Chicago to visit my friend Missy and to see her adorable twin babies Maxim and Mia.

I started getting Microdermabrasion facials for anti-aging.

Frank and I are considering getting a pool. We are pretty close to making the decision and leaning towards yes.

I am slowly easing my way into crafting.

I have been cooking a lot.

Oh, I am back in school. That is a pretty big one. I plan on going again in the spring. I register next week for that.

I broke down and hired a maid service but hate spending the money. Just don't have the time to clean the house with school and work. Plus I hate to do it.

I think that's pretty much it. At least that is all that comes to mind right off. I said it would be random and in no order, like my thoughts...lol!

Anyway, hopefully I will post more often. I am on pinterest and twitter too so follow me there. @stateofamanda for both!

Cheers!

Facebook...It's Not Me, It's You

2011-07-01T21:31:00.015-05:00

I have deactivated my Facebook before, but never for long and I never really had a reason to. However. It has become out of control. I didn't have a lot of friends on there, but I had close to 200. I had a lot of good family, friends, old acquaintances from school, and co-workers. Here is how my decision to deactivate came to be:

1. Family. When I have to find things out about my family via Facebook, there is a communication problem.

2. Friends. I have the phone number and email address of everyone I truly care about. I need to spend more time growing those relationships in person, at least by phone at a minimum.

3. Acquaintances. I think it's cool to re-discover friends who you went to Elementary school with, but I don't know you anymore...nor do I care what your children are doing.

4. Co-workers. Need I say more? I was recently promoted to a Management position in my company. As a 36 year old Marketing Manager, I need to start separating myself from the "party crowd" at work. One thing I have noticed, is that the few managers at work I was friends with on Facebook, never post, never update, and are not friends with very many other co-workers.

I know some of those reasons may sound kind of mean, but the place I am coming from really isn't mean. I am just over it. Too much shared information and I don't feel like having to edit my settings for each group of people, etc.

I will still use Twitter and you can follow me @stateofamanda. You also know how to reach me if you are getting this email (obviously). I will also post to my blog more often with pics and updates about what I have going on, etc.

I also know I will miss out on stuff, but I will do my best to stay up to date with everyone. Just don't forget about me!

Love to all,
Amanda

Jamaican Me Crazy!

2011-05-19T20:27:00.018-05:00

Trip Report: Jamaica, May 2011

I just posted pics on facebook from our recent trip to Jamaica, so I'll spare adding them to this post too. I didn't take too many pics. I really didn't feel like carrying my camera around. Plus we never take pics of ourselves so oh well.

Day 1:
We awoke at 4AM...and after drinking my through Miami from Dallas we arrived in Montego Bay, Jamaica. We had an hour-ish drive to the resort in Runaway Bay. We stayed at the Gran Bahia because it touted 5-stars. However, it was more like 2-3 starts to our discovery. After checking in and doing some exploring, we were zonked. Thought about doing Room Service, but there was no menu. Since we didn't have reservations at the "special" restaurants, we got dressed and it was off to the buffet. We are not buffet people and it wasn't even a "good" buffet. Back to the room to passout early.

Day 2:
We slept late. Woke up around 11. Headed to the pool for some lounging. I read then waded in the pool...repeat. It was much needed. That night we had dinner at the hibatchi restarurant onsite. So with 8 other (and foreign) strangers at the table, I started to cry. I cried because I missed home. Mostly, I missed my babies (my 3 poms). I think it was hormonal or a big stress releiver. Not sure though.

Day 3:
SCUBA DIVING!!! We went on a 2 tank dive both at 90ft and it was AMAZING! I have never seen so much sea life in one dive and the reefs were full of life. It was like the earth had just been flooded. The reefs were so lush. This was a milestone for me considering I just started diving again last year after almost a 10 year hiatus because of a diving accident. I was very nervous, but determined, and now crazy proud of myself! We finished the day at the pool sunning and reading. We ended the night with a lot of champagne and a dinner at their "fancy-men-must-wear-long-pants" restaurant. We got drunk and full and walked out before desert was full. We tipped the waiter of course, but to me it still felt like we were walking the check.

Day 4:
The plan was to go diving again. This time it was supposed to be some wrecks. However, we slept in. But that was way ok with me. It's vacation! Do as the day takes you! Anyway, we decided to hit the beach and do some sunning and reading there instead of the pool. It was nice, but far from the room and restaurant. We closed up shop, had lunch and finished the day at the pool until a rain shower came in around 3PM. Nap time! Then dinner!

Day 5:
Departure Day. Turns out 5 days is the perfect amount of time for a nice get-a-way. We normally do 8 days, but this was good. We plan on doing another short trip in the fall with friends!

All in all, my take on Jamaica is:
Beautiful water
Great diving
Amazing mountains
So-so resorts
Not great food
Lazy, non-people friendly staff

If I never hear another Bob Marley song, that would be too soon. I swear that is the ONLY thing that was played in the cabs on in transit to and from resort and at the resort. I swear that country has one CD on repeat.

We got back on Monday and did a stay-cay for 2 days to gradually get back in the swing of things. I did laundry, grocery shopped, and got a pedi the day after we got back. Additionally, I got a facial to repair my skin from all the sun and cleaned the house. We also went and saw THOR. Which I am still not convinced Thor's brother is Johnny Weir and Thor's friends are a really bad version of the Black-Eye Peas. Oh, I almost forgot...I got a Nook Color and took it with me this trip and it not only was a space saver, but I was able to read 4 magazines and 4 books!

I read:
Water For Elephants
Bethenny Frankel-A place of Yes
Maria Menounos-The EveryGirl's Guide to Life
Something Borrowed (yes like the movie)
Cosmo
Martha Stewart Living
Glamour
Redbook

Some serious reads, right? Aside from Water For Elephants, I love reading mindless beachy books. And speaking of Water For Elephants...OMG. Not sure I will be able to see the movie without crying. Good book.

Life 2.0

2011-02-11T18:53:00.012-06:00

My last Twitter post read "T-minus 3 days until total sterility...and no more pain. Life 2.0, guess I need to figure out what's next.". After a 6 year battle with infertility, cysts, endometriosis, and now fibroids, I'm getting fixed. It is bitter sweet, but it shouldn't be. I have already made peace with not having children, but the finality of it is making it kind of hard. I am still going through with it and still feel good about my decision to do this, but I am only human to question my life and what's next.

First, let me explain. I am not having a hysterectomy. Close, but no. I won't be going into early menopause (which I am sure would quickly end my marriage), and I get to keep pretty much all my original plumbing. Sorry if this is T.M.I. The procedure is called Novasure. It's a quick and easy in office kind of party. I will get to be anesthetized and will have a short and sweet recovery.

The question still remains...what's next? OK, so no kids (which was already kind of a done deal), just me. Just me and Frank and my cute as pie 3 Pomeranians. There is still some fulfillment needed here people. I still need to make my mark and have a purpose!!!

I have decided I am going to pour myself into my job and spend more time obtaining the body I have wanted for a long time and even more importantly, to be the best me I can be. I want to travel for work. I am the perfect person for this. No children to take care of, I am well traveled, and I am (although shy at times) pretty good with people skills. And that's just the beginning of what I want to accomplish. I want to tone up my body and be as healthy as I can be. None of which will happen over night, but will. It will happen.

I still respect my friends children and would do antything for them if ever needed because I am always a good friend. If you know me, you know I'm not a bitch...at heart. So here's to life 2.0. May the next half be WAY BETTER than the first half.

Cheers!

Biggest Challenge Ever

2010-11-12T18:39:00.010-06:00

I decided I am going to not buy any clothes between now and December 2011. I mentioned this to some girls at work and it didn't go over well. The common responses were "I could NOT do that!" and "No way you can pull this off!". But I'm going to try. I have a feeling I will have a lot more money every month and I will be able to pay off my Macy's card. I am excited about this challenge. It doesn't mean I won't be able to have any fun, girls. Don't fret. I will still allow myself to buy accessories. Here is the plan.

Not allowed:
*Pants
*Shirts
*Skirts
*Dresses
*Shorts

Allowed:
*Purses
*Jewelry
*Shoes
*Scarves
*Other misc. accessories

AND Gifts don't count!

So, I think this is going to be a good thing. I am actually excited to see if I can do this. Wish me luck!!!

Disclaimer: I might have to buy clothes if I get pregnant, but unless you've been under a rock and you know me, you know that will not happen.

Amazing Man - Amazing Legacy

2010-09-25T21:47:00.004-05:00

*music by Pearl Jam - Just Breathe

Loss Part 2

2010-09-25T17:51:00.005-05:00

It's sad that it takes losing someone to think of past memories. We should think of people and fond memories all the time. Some of my favorite memories of Pappaw are going over to his house with all my family and eating dinner and hanging out. Pappaw would always get out his guitar and sing old country songs. Some of my Uncles and my Aunt Margaret (who has an amazing voice) would join in. There were other times where me and my cousins would spend the night and sleep on the pull-out sofa staying up late watching Sunny and Cher or some old show from back in the day. I have several more memories than that too, obviously. I am so greatful to have such a large family that can share all these memories with.

Loss Part 1

2010-09-24T22:15:00.008-05:00

I have lost people in my life and each one has been hard. But I lost my Pappaw last night and it has hit me harder than any loss I have had. It happened last night around 8:00. He had been in the hospital off and on with pneumonia and was finally placed in a rehab facility to start getting better. Over the past few years he had become all too familiar with hospitals. However, each time he went in he would bounce back. He was a fighter. A strong man. It was just too much for him last night. My Aunt called me and told me to get to the hospital last night because my Mom needed me there. I knew it wasn't good. Not 5 minutes after I arrived, the Nurse led us back to "the room" and the Doctor came in to deliver the news. I was so glad I could be there for my Mom and my Aunt (who I lovingly refer to as my 2nd Mom). They let us come in and see Pappaw to say our good-byes. I knew he had only been gone for a very short time, and I don't know what I expected to see. But it was surreal. As more family arrived, we all stayed in the room with him until the funeral home arrived. The strongest person there was my Mammaw. She didn't shed a tear. I think she felt it was her place to keep her cool and make everyone feel better by telling stories and joking. That's just like her.

I have so many memories of spending time with both my Mammaw and Pappaw. It seems like yesterday......

Dream Weaver

2010-08-28T21:58:00.003-05:00

So random. Last night I dreamnt that I bought Frank a Harley Davidson for his birthday. The strange part is he is not a Harley fan, doesn't ride motorcycles, his birthday is in May, and clearly I have no money to up and make this kind of purchase in reality. Anyway, in my dream I waited until the last possible minute to buy his gift because in reality he is really hard to buy for. He has everything he wants and he isn't into any 1-thing. If he is into something, he researches and ends up buying it for himself.

So in my dream, I had to rush to buy his gift on my way to meet him for dinner. I just stopped by the local Harley store and bought him a nice vintage bike similar to the one below (minus Brad Pitt-sigh). No idea how much it cost in my dream or even if Harley makes vintage bikes. But I remember having to have someone drive it to the restaurant for me and for some reason he couldn't drive it home. Not because he can't drive a bike (he grew up on them), but no idea why...then I woke up. Dreams are strange and sometimes have no meaning. As if you already didn't know that.

Vacation 2010

2010-08-28T16:26:00.032-05:00

Ole! We just returned from an 8 day vacation on the Mayan Riviera. We stayed at the Valentin Imperial Maya and it was wonderful. We got upgraded to First Class both ways, and had a private Suburban all to ourselves for airport transportation. I felt a little bit like a Celeb. Honestly, the private Suburban didn't cost much more than the hotel transport and was totally worth it!

Car Service (ignore the deflated hair, sweaty face, tired look I'm sporting)

Hotel Lobby

Our days mostly consisted of laying by the pool and reading. Oh, and eating. Did I mention we ate a lot? We ate a ton. The food by far was the best hotel food (all-inlclusive or otherwise) I have ever had in all my years of travel. Everything had so much flavor. I know I gained 20 pounds between the food and the pina coladas, champagne, and mexican coffee!

Main Pool (I didn't get any good pics of the pool by our room that we stayed at all the time)

French restraunt

Menu scroll thing at Indonesian restaurant

Inside Japanese Restaurant

Aside from non-stop eating and drinking, I WENT SCUBA DIVING AGAIN!!! After over 10 years it was time to get back on that horse and face my fears. It was AMAZING! I was more than proud of myself and I can't wait to do it again.
Me very nervous before my first dive

Best place to be ever

I've missed all this stuff so much

The hotel grounds were beautiful with a lot of wildlife. And when we got home to our own wildlife, our little Tangie went Brazilian. The vet had to shave her when they groomed her because she was so matted up. With all her hair I couldn't feel the mats under it all.

Tangie in her new sweater...she is not used to being so hairless.

It was an amazing trip and oh so relaxing. I read 3 books, ate my weight in food, and layed in the sun so much that I have a good reserve of vitamin D. Good to be home.

In The Quest For Less

2010-05-31T21:24:00.014-05:00

Weight that is. I have read various articles that give good tips on ways to reduce belly fat and help aid in weight loss. In addition to exercise, of course. Some things are a given, like drinking water through out the day. A lot of people do this. It helps you feel full. People also put lemon in their water to give it some flavor.

Lemons - The pectin in lemon peel is an excellent source of fiber, which helps stop the body from absorbing sugar quickly. Pectin also helps eliminate cravings. Drinking water with a whole lemon for weight loss is an excellent way to speed up weight loss and detox the body.

Cherries - Cherries are low in calories, low in fat and contain a high percentage of water. Research has shown increasing water consumption will boost energy levels and help increase metabolism.

Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice - Drinking 3 glasses a day over 12 weeks, can help you loose an additional 3 pounds. Try the brands that are 100% juice and no added sugar.

Milk - Several studies have concluded that calcium-rich dairy products helped people lose more weight from the abdominal region than those taking calcium supplements or eating a low-calcium diet.

I definately plan on trying these tips in addition to exercising more frequenly. My body isn't the same it was 10 years ago. Hell, even one year ago. It's crazy what mid-30's can do to ones ability to lose weight and keep it off.

Expedition Great White

2010-05-31T11:27:00.005-05:00

Oh. Mah. Gah. I am about to be in Shark Nerd Heaven. I just saw a commercial on National Geographic for a new show coming out called Expedition Great White. Amazing. Check out this preview!

If You Love To Travel...

2010-05-29T19:01:00.008-05:00

You need to check out my friend Shannon's new website. That Travel Spark. She gives great advice on traveling with kids, packing, and planning great trips. You will also find good tips and ideas to know before you go!

Growing Up Is Easy To Do

2010-05-24T21:00:00.018-05:00

Not only is it easy, it is rather seamless. Some people have kids and are kind of forced to enter into this phase of life. It just happened for me. One day I give a crap about being "young" and wearing the trends and knowing the most current gossip then the next I don't care. I still want to look presentable, but if I look 35, it's ok.

Last year I would have been mortified to look 34. You can't fight age. All you can do is embrace it and do your best to look your best. Nobody wants to be that lady who wears clothes from the junior department. We all know who they are because its so obvious.

Another reason I notice I am entering the next phase of life is if I am in Macy's with a chance to buy cute clothes or an awesome coffee maker...yeah, I'm going with the awesome coffee maker.

I no longer care what people think of me. I pretty much have spent my adult life not caring what people think of me, but it is more pronounced now. If you don't like me...that's your problem, not mine.

I am starting to see how I used to be in younger people now. When I was in my mid to late 20's, I was so freaking ambitious and wanted so badly to be the golden child at work that I once arranged a limo, Mediteranian dinner w/belly dancer at a restarant in Dallas for my Boss and all his direct reports...who had to fly in. Yeah, I thought I was the shit. Looking back now, if I were one his direct reports would have been rolling my eyes and wondering why the young'en was trying so hard.

It's just so funny how life changes over time and how much more comfortable I am with myself now. I no longer feel I have to impress, dress, or wow anyone. I do the best I can do at my job, I am a good friend, and I try to not look like a mess. And I am happier than I have ever been.

My Dog Is An Asshole?

2010-05-19T21:00:00.011-05:00

My husband, Frank, thinks my dog Todd is an Asshole. Kind of funny actually. Here is some of his reasoning:

1. He's always mad at stuff.

2. He eats Bananas only because our other dogs Tangie and Lucy like them. He doesn't even like Bananas!

3. He gets mad (barks like hell) when Frank takes a shower.

4. He gets mad (barks like hell) when Frank goes into the garage.

5. He's a "buzz-kill". He barks like hell when he hears things outside. Usually when we are watching a movie or are into a tv show.

6. He only likes to get pet when the other dogs are already getting attention.

7. Todd is a cock-blocker. Anytime Frank goes to kiss me, he sticks his little self in the middle of us.

8. He doesn't give a shit about a toy unless one of the other dogs has it.

9. He pees on fucking everything.

10. He only pukes on carpet. Refuses to puke on the wood floor. This is typical when he eats grass outside.

With all that said, Todd monkey is my baby. He is 8 years old and dammit he isn't going to change a thing. He loves his mamma and does what daddy says because he knows daddy will smack him. Don't get it wrong though. Frank loves Todd monkey. He was a birthday gift for me in 2002 and Frank has trained him to do a lot of stuff.

I love my Todd. He is my O.G.

Blogging for Bill

2010-05-08T21:45:00.009-05:00

Our neighbor of 6 years, Bill, passed away last night. It is so sad because he and his wife Cheryl were the best of friends. Bill was diagnosed with pancratic cancer last Christmas. We were told this at their annual Christmas gag gift exchange for 2009. Bill was one of the most kind and caring person I knew. He was a spitfire though. Ex Navy, wood-worker, smoker, diabetic, drinker, curser, sweetheart. So sweet and welcoming. We didn't go over there enough to visit. We normally would go over for their Christmas party and the occasional summer celebrations. Sad because they live right across the street. Bill always greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the cheeck. He always treated us like family, although he didn't know us very well. Bill was surrounded with a large family and great friends. It is so comforting to know that Cheryl is being comforted by them all in this difficult time. If I didn't know I would think this was just another outdoor celebration, which Bill would be at the center of. I couldn't imagine them not grieving any differently.

I went over to give my condolences this morning. It started Thursday night when I saw the ambulance and firetruck outside their house. I then saw Bill being brought out on the gurney. Friday went by and only 1 car was in the driveway. I thought this was a good sign. He was still in the hospital and Cheryl was by his side. It all changed when I went to get the mail this morning and saw all the cars and people carrying in food. I knew what had happened. I went across the street and my other neighbor was mowing his yard (which was really sweet) told me what happened. I went inside to offer my condolences to Cheryl. My heart goes out to her.

More family and friends gathered tonight so I went back over to say hello and offer condolences to Cheryls kids (who are my age), but I couldn't hold my shit together. I was going to start crying and they don't need more of that right now. So I will bake a cake and take over a card tomorrow.

God Bless you Bill...you will be missed.

Love, Frank and Amanda (a.k.a. Batman and Mrs. Batman)

Revelation and Responsibility

2010-04-28T20:36:00.021-05:00

Today I accomplished 3 things.

1. I got approved for a Mortgage to buy a house.

2. I made a decision to stop drinking so much.

3. I went back to the gym.

Let me explain. The first time home-buyer program ends on Friday, April 30th. I was going to basically try to buy our house from Frank because he is the sole owner and I am not on the title. That way, I (we) would get the $8000 tax credit. It sounded great on paper. I was approved for a mortgage, which suprised me actually. All I had to do was fax all of my paperwork over, which I was able to easily get (W2, pay stubs, 401K statement, etc). Then we would just need a Realtor to write us up a Purchase Agreement and have us sign it on or before Friday this week. All of which could have easily been done. Sounds too good to be true, right? Well, it was. When I contacted the Realtor, she did some checking and it turns out we would have to be divoriced at the time we execute the sale (when we sign the purchase agreement) in order for me to buy the house. I also verified this by calling a 2nd Realtor and H&R Block. Well, divorice is not possible being that a.) we don't want to get divoriced...anymore and b.) you can't divorice in 2 days. Even though I am not on the title, Texas is a community property state and therefore I half-own the house in a sense already. Good try for us though and at least I learned that I can do things on my own and even own a house if I really needed to.

The 2nd item listed above is about how much I have been drinking lately. I mostly am doing it because I am bored and work has been really stressful lately. I would drink 2 plus glasses (because I'm a topper-offer) a night. Occasionally I would skip a night probably because I was out and it always felt like a big accomplishment. It shouldn't be that way. It then got to where I would feel dissappointed in myself for drinking the night before. I wouldn't get drunk because my tolerence was so high, which isn't right either. Last night I tried to go without drinking wine and I waited and waited but couldn't do it. So I had a couple glasses. And now I am out with no plans to buy any. I don't plan on quitting, but I do need to drink like normal people do. Occasionally, or on the weekend. My family history definately makes me see how this could get out of hand and turn into a problem.

The last item is about me getting back to the gym. I was a size 2 last summer and now I am squeezing into a size 6. I know its because all I do at night is lounge around and drink wine.

My plan moving forward is to spend my evenings being productive. Getting back to the gym, working harder, cooking more, etc. I have to do this. I have to get back to a normal balance.

Oceans Review

2010-04-25T14:18:00.011-05:00

Frank and I saw Disney's Oceans last night and I was not impressed. It was kind of slow moving and the production value wasn't that good. I think Life on Discovery channel is much better. I just thought being Disney that it would be more over-the-top. It did feel good knowing that Disney Nature made a donation in our honor for seeing the movie in its opening week.

A few things I learned though:

1. Disney films make for good birth control. So many kids...and they were bored! I mean, hello! they are watching a DOCUMENTARY. Not many kids are going to be able to stay interested for an hour and a half.

2. Some Moms let their kids talk and run all over the theater because it's easier than chasinig them around and dicsipling them.

3. Babies cry in movies. Not that I am just learning this, but apparantly somone did. The mother who brought the new born to the movie. Who does that? Sheesh!

Connected

2010-04-18T14:09:00.007-05:00

I've been on Facebook for a while now and have had my blog for a few years, but it feels like I am just joining the rest of modern society by getting connected. I joined Twitter, so I think now I am officially connected, but I am sure I am missing something. The funny thing is that I don't get Twitter. I finally understand when you want to talk to someone you have to type the @ sign. But I don't know what the # sign does. I also don't know when to Tweet or what to Tweet about. Of course it doesn't matter much if I don't have anyone to Tweet to. Let's see if I can do this.

Topper

2010-04-16T20:53:00.009-05:00

A yummy topper for chicken, steak, and even fish. I made a batch and have had it on all 3 within the past 3 nights.

Mix together the following to taste:

Chopped Green Onions
Sour Cream
Blue Cheese crumbles

Top anything. It's D-lish (especially on chicken marinated in buffalo sauce then grilled)!!

Random Change

2010-04-13T19:49:00.028-05:00

Over the past month or so I have noticed there are things I used to enjoy that I don't really care about anymore. It's stupid stuff really. Here are some of the things I just can't do anymore. Not sure if its because I am getting older or what, but here we go.

KISS FM. Can't do it. I try to listen to it in the car, but I just can't stand it anymore. I am sure it has to do with the crap being played that I just don't get...like Justin Beiber, Ke$sha, random rappers using chipmunk sounds in their songs and robot noises. Or rappers singing about drinking and getting tipsy. I used to like anything with a beat and up-tempo with a party feel (and I still do), but I have a cut off point now that I am getting older.

Bars. Why can't there be a quiet, smoke free, place to drink that is not crowded and has good music that isn't too loud and you can hear your conversations with cool people. Oh wait...there is. It's called MY HOUSE!

Trends. OK, I can do some trends like ruffley blouses or chunky jewelry. But I can't do leggings, ugg-style boots, skinny jeans tucked into boots. You get the point. I would rather stick to classic style that still looks relevent and not old lady.

Staying up late. I still do it, but is getting harder and harder. I feel so much better when I get a full 8 hours.

Drinking wine on weeknights. Yes, there are some night that I have to. But a night off every now and then might actually help me lose some el-bees!

Not drinking enough water. I need to stay more hydrated, epescially as I age. Don't want to dry out the skin!

Perezhilton.com. Why am I obsessed with this crap? Is my life better for knowing useless information about people I don't know or don't care about? Now, there are still interesting stories out there like when Britney shaved her head and went crazy. But I'll wait until there is something interesting enough and then I will read about it.

So I will be 35 roughly 4 short months. I wonder if age has anything to do with this. If it does, I'm cool with that. If not, then I guess it's just time to make a change.

Casa Bonita

2010-04-07T21:37:00.008-05:00

Does anyone remember Casa Bonita? The Mexican restaraunt with the indoor waterfall that had cliff divers? I remember going there as a kid and it was like the most amazing experience. There were multiple rooms with different feels, but the best seat in the house was next to the cliff divers. The smell of the chemicals in the indoor pool mixed with the Pancho's quality mexican food. Does anyone remember this place? It was by Hulen Mall in Fort Worth. Think back to the mid-80's.

10 Years Goes By Fast

2010-03-28T22:09:00.026-05:00

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the big ass tornado that hit Downtown Fort Worth. I remember that night like it was a year ago. Queue the hazy blurry dream sequence...Frank and I were living in North Arlington (technically Grand Prairie) off North 360 in an apartment. I was working for Ryder in Las Colinas and he was working with Bass in Downtown Fort Worth. I got home before he did as usual, and turned on Channel 5 news. David Fenfrock actually showed the tornado happening LIVE on TV!! It was crazy. I kept calling Frank and he wasn't answering and I was really scared. The tornado was ripping right through the middle of Downtown. Being on the 3rd floor of the apartments, I panicked because the storm was heading straight down I-30 towards central Arlington (close enough for discomfort). Still scared shit-less about Frank...I was a mess. Finally Frank got home and I demanded we go downstairs to our garage on the bottom floor of the apartments and sit in the car (my Jetta). I thought that would be the safest place. But it got really hot sitting in there because we couldn't turn the car on because the garage was closed...duh.

Turns out Frank couldn't answer his phone when I was calling to check on him because he racing down I-30 with the tornado in his rear-view mirror. Can you blame the guy? Good thing he had his fast new Audi A4. That was such a cool car. But I digress...it's funny how I remember things so vividly and others not so much.

Dreaming Of Blue Water and Sunny Skies

2010-03-27T12:19:00.017-05:00

I am starting to long for the Caribbean. It's getting to be that time of year when we start planning. However, things might not go as planned this year. We normally have an idea of where we want to go by now, but not this year. We have had so much come up we are not even sure if we will be going anywhere. But here are some pics looking back over the past few years of where we have been:

2009-Dominican Republic

2008-Turks & Caicos

2007-Tulum, Mexico

2006-Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

2005-St. Lucia

Before that I didn't have a digital camera and have never taken the time to scan in photos. 2004-Caymem, 2003-Aruba, 2002-Bonaire, 2001-Belize

2010?

What Would Brian Boitano Make?

2010-03-21T12:54:00.007-05:00

What Would Brian Boitano Make? Doesn't matter. He is hilarious! I caught this show on the food network last year and then it wasn't on again until recentlty. I was happy that it came back. You remember him, right? He was an Olympic Gold Figure Skater from 1988. Anyway, he is simply FABOOSH! This show cracks me up. I highly recommend checking it out. It comes on the Food Network on Sundays at 12 CST.

I found this "homemade" clip of him on youtube which shows just the tip of how goofy he is. Love it.

Douche Bags Rejoice!

2010-03-19T23:16:00.008-05:00

Remember when Ed Hardy shirts were sold at high-end stores for $85.00 per t-shirt? That phase didn't last long before every hipster (a.k.a. upper-middle-class housewives and divoriced Dads on the prowl) in middle-America started buying it up. Soon after that, it became a staple of daily attire for the cast of the Jersey Shore. Well NOW, you can find anything from Ed Hardy gum at Target, lighters at gas stations, computer mouses and mouse pads, and BEER! Dear lord. Seriously? As if the first of the items previously listed weren't bad enough?

Ed Hardy is the next Tommy Hilfigger. Meaning it won't be long (if not already) til you can buy an Ed Hardy souvineer t-shirt in Cozumel.

Click Here to Watch 'The Ed Hardy Boyz and The Case Of The Missing Sick Belt Buckle'

Gaga-Mazing!!!

2010-03-16T21:43:00.009-05:00

Either Lady GaGa is that amazing or I am a gay dude trapped in a woman's body. Her video for Telephone with Beyonce is MAYJAH! Loves it. Totally unexpected and totally brilliant (as far as videos go). I love the Natural Born Killers/Kill Bill/Thelma & Louise influence. Plus Beyonce in her Betty Paige inspired wig was great. Enjoy!

If the video won't play, try clicking here.

Brookstoner

2010-03-16T18:34:00.026-05:00

I normally don't find myself wanting things from Brookstone, even though it's a pretty cool store with some pretty cool stuff. But, I got a catalog in the mail and found that I had "dog-eared" several pages. Here is just some of all the junk I want!

n•a•p® Lite All Season Bed Blanket

Tempur-Pedic Comfort-Step Slippers

Pure-Ion Advanced Air Cleaner

iConvert® Photo Scanner

ALDI, Whaaa???

2010-03-15T23:11:00.028-05:00

A new grocery store is being built down the street from my house. It's something I have never heard of before. ALDI. I had no idea what to expect. My hope is that it would be another Whole Foods or Central Market type of grocery store, but I am not sure. I saw the first commercial for it tonight so I got curious and went to the wonderful world wide web to check it out. I am skeptical, like I am with all things I am unsure of. From what I read, here is how ALDI is different:

~To use a grocery cart, you have to put a 25 cent deposit into the cart in order to "check it out" of the stall and use it. Yes, you get that quarter back when you return it to the stall, but still...who carries cash or a lot of change anymore? To their defense, they do say with this system, they don't have to assign an employee to round up carts in the parking lot, thus saving money.

~They encourage shoppers to bring their own bags, by charging 5 cents for paper bags and 10 cents for bigger (heavier duty) bags. I like this option, I think all stores should go to this.

~ALDI does not accept checks, which I think is a good thing. I hate being slowed down behind the old lady writing a check. But with that, ALDI also does not accept credit cards. ALDI only accepts cash, food stamps/EBT cards, and PIN-based debit cards. What about people who use American Express, etc. as their main method of payment because of the rewards?

~ALDI carries mostly private label brands. ALDI will carry some national brands, but these are usually “special buys”—limited-time offers of products, that ALDI claims, score you huge savings, but are only available while supplies last.

The concept is definately different than what we are used to in Texas. It has potential to be great, or fail. I do hope it does well. I like the "green" aspect of it but I am not sure of the "private label" part of it. I am all for generic paper towels and private label (which is fancy for generic) items, but from stores I trust and shop at frequently...like Tom Thumb.

The only other time I remember adjusting to a new store was when CVS expanded to our area. Before that I had only seen CVS in Long Island, NY. I thought it was strange how it had carpet. I was so used to Eckerd Drugs. That was THE drugstore when I was a kid.

ALDI opens by my house this spring. It will be interesting to see how it does.

www.aldifoods.com

It's Not What You Think Your Eating

2010-03-14T21:38:00.005-05:00

I saw this on the news tonight. Fox News reported about New York High School students that did a science project about food. The question at hand was, is the food we eat really what it says it is? They worked with a NY University to extract DNA of their samples. What did they find?

1. A product labeled "anchovy" came back as Protosalanx chinensis, which is actually not anchovy but a type of smelt fish.

2. One item was labeled "red snapper," but the DNA testing showed it was Lutjanus malabaricus, which is actually a different type of fish called the Malabar blood.

3. At a specialty store, a product labeled "sheep's milk cheese" was tested and proven to be cheese made with cow's milk.

4. Another item labeled "sturgeon caviar" was tested and the DNA came back as Plyodon spathula, a fish commonly known as the Mississippi paddlefish.

5. "Pacific Ocean smelt" was what was advertised in the store, but the DNA testing proved it was actually Odontesthes gracilis. It is not smelt, but a silverside family of fish.

6. "Frozen yellow catfish" DNA tested as Odontesthes gracilis. According to the fish database, this is not yellow catfish.

7. A dog treat labeled as "venison" (deer meat) tested as beef.

8. A fish sample that was labeled "mackerel" was tested and came back as Sardinella atricauda, a fish commonly known as Bleeker's black tip sardinella.

9. One product that was labeled "Jewfish" came back with DNA that showed it was actually Nemipterus furcosus, a fish commonly known as fork-tail threadfin bream.

10. A product labeled in Chinese translated to "Branchiostoma lancelet amphioxus, but DNA tests proved it was Salangichthys microdon, a fish commonly known as Japanese ice fish.

Yes, a lot of fish, but you can click here to see their full study.

Short Falls

2010-03-08T20:43:00.008-06:00

I am 5'1" tall and there is nothing I can do about it...unless I live in China. Lisa Ling reported on a recent Oprah show about the new trends in cosmetic surgery in China. She said people are actually heightening by having their legs broken and stretched. You can grow anywhere from a few inches to a full foot. Amazing, but not without 6 months of recovery and pain. People are electing to have this extreme surgery all because height is a big deal in China. Jobs, Education Acceptance, Dating, etc. all depend on how tall you are. If that were the case here in the US, I would be jobless, stupid (hush), and single. Of course this elective torture is not cheap. It runs anywhere from $10K to $40K.

I have heard of this done in the States for little people (is that the right term these days?), but I couldn't imagine doing something this insane. Things like this make me glad to be part of Western culture.

Virtual Friends

2010-03-07T20:09:00.005-06:00

Sunday Bloggy Sunday. Only two posts today, but feels like a lot. Anyway I was just thinking...These days it is easier to be friends with more people. I think the quality has gone out of friendship however. With applications and conveiniences like Facebook, email, texting, etc. it does make it easier to keep in touch with friends and family, but it also makes it not as personal. Just a thought.

Memories, Like The Corner Of My Mind...

2010-03-07T15:29:00.016-06:00

I had lunch with my mom the other day and she mentioned how it had been like a strange blast from the past for her over the past week, seeing people she lost touch with and catching up on old friends. That night I dreamt of my old neighborhood and my friends from elementary school and jr. high. So today I had some time to kill because of a change in plans, so I made an exit off the highway and a detour into my old neighborhood. It was a nostalgic look back. I was suprised at how much I remembered about what friends lived where and even what streets lead to others, etc. I was able to remember what the insides of these houses looked like and I remembered what my friends and I would do around the neighborhood. It seemed like it was just yesterday but so long ago. Funny too that all the houses that I thought were so big and "fancy" didn't look so big, or fancy anymore. My old house looked much smaller than I remembered and it even looked like the people living there still had the same window treatments in the gameroom window. Odd. I also wondered if any of the families were still living in these houses. Every house I knew had a story and a memory. I guess we really didn't live their that long. I want to say it was from 1983 to 1989, but it seemed like a lifetime.

Looking back things were so simple and innocent back then. So much has changed with my family and even my friends families. It's somewhat sad to think we had no idea what the future held. Good or bad. Some friends lost sisters, moms, dads, and some families are broken by divorice now. Things definately are not as they were and certainly won't be in another 20 years.

Some random things that come to mind when thinking of that time period for me...

Flippy McFlipperson...That's Me!!

2010-03-06T17:55:00.004-06:00

So my last post said I didn't want to move. I didn't want to leave my wonderful, comfortable home. Well give it a couple days and like the Texas weather, I will change. See, this is why it's not good for me to make big decisions. I am so worried about making the right one, that I basically can't decide. Now I am worried that if we don't sell now we will regret it. Our front bedrooms are small and there is nothing I can do about that. We actually have buyers who don't care. Imagine that. Next time we decide to sell will we be able to? I hate the unknown. I can't do big decisions. That is why I wash my hands in this and told Frank I am happy with whatever HE decides. I'll know Monday.

Home Is Where The Heart Is?

2010-03-03T21:12:00.010-06:00

Is home really where the heart is? Most would probably say yes, but I'm gonna go with no and I'll explain why in a minute. We have had our house for sell since September of 2009. We had not had much traffic and zero offers (mostly due to the holiday season), then as soon as 2010 hit we have had several showings a week with 2 offers. The first offer fell through and we are in negotiations with our 2nd offer. What sucks though is that it is not a good time right now for us to move. Frank has so much going on with work and traveling a lot. My work is also crazy right now.

Here's the deal. We put our house up for sell and I didn't want to, but I kind of had to due to other things going on at the time. Then I was on board. Well, now that we have had a lot of activity and a couple offers, I'm kind of freakin out. Our house is really nice. We don't have to move. There is no new job we need to move for and we are not growing our family, etc. etc. etc. So my thing is that I am kind of scared thinking we are not making the right decision. We kind of know the area we want to move to, but we will have to rent before we buy then who knows if we will be able to find something as nice as what we have now for the price we got this house for?

So many thoughts going through my head right now. This has been my home for the last 7 1/2 years. We have put a lot into it making it how we want it. I feel so comfortable here. Thinking about leaving makes me a little teary eyed. So while some say 'Home Is Where The Heart Is', I can't say that would be the case for me. To me, home is where I am comfortable and familiar. Honestly, I am not ready for this. I don't want to leave my home.

Johnny Weir Is Fabulous!

2010-02-28T14:46:00.016-06:00

Johnny Weir competed in the Vancouver Olympics this year and is the most openly flamboyant figure skater anyone has ever seen. He is (said in my Oprah voice) Fabbbbuloussss!!!! I love love love him and his sparkly onsies. There is an hour and a half long documentary on the Sundance Channel about him and his road to the Olympics. The best part about this documentary are the clips they show off the ice. For instance, Johnny and his best friend Paris (not Hilton, and is a boy) are sitting in the bath together with wine and bubbles while Johnny is wearing a blonde wig and glasses, talking in a Russian accent interviewing his bff Paris about himself. Paris is just as faboosh as Johnny.

Johnny is who he is and makes no apologies. Even when he is at a competition representing the U.S.A. and wearing a jacket with RUSSIA written all over the back. Johnny loves Russia for some reason.

He is now 24/25 and says he is too old to keep competing. I just hope he stays in the spotlight. He has too much presence and personality to blend into the blur.

Anyway, do a search for this show if you love this type of stuff. The name of it is Be Good Johhny Weir: Pop Star on Ice.

Killer Whale Indeed

2010-02-25T19:41:00.018-06:00

Yesterday, I posted a link on Facebook about a killer whale in Orlando that killed it's trainer. A lot of details have now come out, so to summarize:

On Feb 24th, a SeaWorld Orlando trainer died Wednesday from "multiple traumatic injuries and drowning" after a killer whale named Tilikum pulled her underwater by her long pony tail near the theme park's Shamu Stadium. The trainer was "interacting" with the killer whale in knee-deep water "when the animal grabbed her by the hair, said to be in a long pony tail, and pulled her underwater," the Orange County Sheriff's Office said. "Rescuers were not able to immediately jump in and render assistance" to the trainer because of the whale's "aggressive nature."

Officials say trainers had to coax an aggressive whale into a smaller pool and use a platform to lift it out of the water before they could free the woman from its jaws.

This Whale Has A Violent Past

~According to the Orlando Sentinel, trainers were forbidden with swimming with Tillikum, a 12,000-pound orca nicknamed "Tilly."

~Only about a dozen of 28 handlers had been specifically trained to work with him from the edge of SeaWorld's pools.

~In 1991, Tilikum and two female killer whales dragged trainer Keltie Byrne underwater, drowning her in front of spectators at Sealand of the Pacific, a defunct aquarium in Victoria, British Columbia.

~Acquired by SeaWorld the next year to breed with female orcas, he was involved in a second incident in July 1999 when the naked body of a man who had apparently sneaked into SeaWorld after hours to swim with the whales was found draped dead across his back.

Why Did This Happen?

A former SeaWorld contractor who has watched Tilikum for 10 years says despite Tilikum's violent past he never saw more than temper tantrums.

"His personality is very laid back," he said. "I've seen him bang his head on the glass. I want to say that Tilikum wasn't doing this intentionally but unfortunately it just looks like he either got curious or bored and wanted to grab her."

He says the 22-foot-long killer whale spends a lot of time alone often in a 15 foot deep pool because he's used for breeding, which is not natural for such a social animal, marine experts say.

"It's a part of their lives to have whales visible to them at all times," said Richard Ellis, a marine conservationist at the American Museum of Natural History. "Put one in a tank and that whale is unhappy."

What Will Happen To Tilikum?

SeaWorld has no plans to euthanize the killer whale that dragged the trainer to her death Wednesday, and will allow trainers to continue to work with the animal, a park official said today.

As two federal agencies launched investigations into the trainers death, the park said it will review its safety policies and determine whether Tillikum, a 12,000-pound bull killer whale, will be used in shows and publicly displayed.

Kickboxing. Nope.

2010-02-25T19:16:00.006-06:00

Last night at the gym I watched the kickboxing class while I was on the elliptical and thought "that looks easy"...well, not so much. I always thought I was rather coordinated. Clearly that is not the case as I get older. Yes, it was my first class so I won't know all the moves. But I felt so stupid in there. What made it wose for me was being right next to a wall of mirrors. Seeing myself from a side view in tight workout clothes scared the ba-jesus out of me. I'M AWAKE! Lord. Why is it I thought I was okay? Obviously because I don't own a wall of mirrors. Sweet jesus, that was a good wake up call.

So, I will go back to the formula that got me skinny last year. Going to the gym almost everyday and doing weights and more ab work. I have been so lazy since this past summer. I need to get my giant ass in gear and quickly. I don't have much to offer, so I need to get my body in shape. When I say I don't have much to offer, I mean that I am not tall, I don't have lusterous thick hair, or naturally blonde hair, etc etc etc. SO, I need to rock my body and keep things in check. So all in all, kickboxing wasn't a bad thing. At least I got a good wake up call from it.

Random Shmamdom

2010-02-19T23:19:00.013-06:00

More randomness...just 'cause.

1. I HATE some of the music on pop top 40 right now. Some of it sounds like rubbish, some sounds like robot transformer noises, some sounds like alvin and the chipmunks.

2. I hate the word "hottie".

3. F the cold.

4. I want a BMW coupe, black with the reddish/tan interior color.

5. Small aquarium fish freak me the f out.

6. I don't make spologies for being me. If you don't like me, the that is your problem...not mine.

7. I can be easily influenced to buy things if you are a good seller.

8. I like to spoil and be spoiled.

9. There are a shit-load of countries yall. Who knew? Oh well.

10. No, I am not drunk or tired, just random typing what I think as I watch a DVR'd episode of The Simpsons about curling in the Olympics. Also things that went through my mind and/or came up in conversation today.

I Hate Winter

2010-02-14T19:11:00.010-06:00

I am a summer baby. Love the sun, love the warm. I hate the cold. I hate being all tensed up because it's cold. I hate having to pile on clothes and wear bulky jackets. I hate the wind and the grey skies and the rain. However...I LOVED the snow. We had close to a foot of snow last week and broke an all time record with it too. It was beautiful.

What I didn't love was the fact that my windshield wipers broke on the way home from work Thursday while it was snowing hard. I had to pull over several times and use my bare hand to wipe the cold water off the windshield so I could see to drive another few feet. Thank god I don't have a far commute. It would have been next to impossible. The next day, the snow was so high I was literally trapped in my house. I could not get out of my driveway due to the 12 inches of snow. Frank had to leave for Chicago (for work) early that morning and the car service couldn't even make it into the neighborhood. He had to walk out to meet him. Crazy!

This is the picture the night before of Frank and my neighbor shoveling the driveway just so we could get my car into the garage. It was way worse the next morning.

Ladies, Did You Know?

2010-02-12T20:23:00.008-06:00

Everybody knows that beauty products and makeup have an expiration date. It was always a guessing game for me. But, did you know there is a little symbol on most products that actually tells you how long it's good for? I had no idea about this until I read it in a magazine.

The little symbol looks like this

I bought some new moisturizer, checked the back and voila!...it was there!

Certified Amazing!

2010-02-11T20:30:00.010-06:00

If you are a Costco member you MUST buy the organic chicken breasts. They are AMAZING! The regular pack of induvidually packaged chicken breasts cost between $18 and $24. The organic chicken has fewer chicken breasts and cost about $15 each. You get about half the amount as one of the regular. So basically, you pay roughly $10 more for the same quantity. That's my math after 2 glasses of Shiraz (so bear with me). It is really worth it though. For one it taste great, and for two you are not eating a bunch of antibiotics and hormones. It's a win-win!

Anywhoo...Chicken has always been the go-to in my house and I have never loved it. It's just fuel. I try to come up with clever ways to make it have flavor, etc. But I found with the organic, all I had to do was bake it with a little olive oil, salt, pepper, and poultry seasoning and it was perfection.

Organic chicken...I'll certify that Amazing!

Status Updates

2010-02-09T19:45:00.013-06:00

These last 25 Status Updates are proof that I spend too much time on Facebook. 25 updates since January 20th. I do have a life, I really do!

1.could eat an entire bag of kettle cooked potato chips if she didn't care...
2.is not watching the super bowl today!
3.on 30 Rock about a tattoo..."It's a mermaid doin it with Captain Morgan." LOL!!!!!!
4.is watching something something dark side.
5.thinks the Shake Weight is just plain wrong.
6.is bummed the offer fell through :( They couldn't secure their loan. Back to square 1.
7....if your late for special ed, is it improper for the teacher to say you're tardy?
8.had fun with her work peeps tonight at crap daddy's!
9.I swear, if I hear that G.D. Firefly song one more time...
10.will never make it out of a maze. Algorythm's are hard. Simple math, my ass.
11.peanut butter jelly...
12.realized I live my life in "phases".
13.counter accepted. Still have to wait for-ev-er to close though. Mid April. Sux. At least that gives us time to figure out where to live.
14.Wanna make a bet? We'll be neck and neck, taking off the gloves. Spider Vs Bat, Tiger Vs Rat, Rabbit Vs Dove.
15.can't watch sad stories on the news about pets and animals just like people with children can't watch bad things about kids. Yes, I am that person. My name is Amanda and my dogs are my kids. Hi Amanda.
16.18K LESS than asking price! Are you kidding me? Time to counter.
17.doesn't have a story.
18.works for an awesome company that @BillGates just followed on Twitter!
19.is so bajiggitty.
20."Don't talk to strangers unless you want to meet anyone...ever."
21.is so glad to be working out again. Beach body, here I come!
22.is 20/30...20/20 isn't far away!
23.I ♥ Daniel Tosh.
24.is excited about the unknown!
25.and if you act now...

It's Happening.

2010-02-06T22:45:00.007-06:00

Yup. I just saw my first grey hairs today. Lord knows how long I have had them. But it only is official since I have seen them today. All day I have been thinking of what color I am going to dye my hair. I have always only highlighted my hair, but I guess that's not going to cut it anymore. But you know what else sucks about this? I don't feel old. I still feel young. I have a crap load of energy, I love family guy, I love fashion, electronica, working out, being goofy, and a lot of other crap that old people hate and/or don't get. So far my face is ok. I don't have wrinkles. This sucks. It's just another speed bump on the road of life. I will get by. I don't know...I guess it's ok. If this is my biggest problem physically, then I am ok. I will just keep telling myself that. You are only as young as you feel. Dammit. Rant over.

Food U

2010-02-01T18:56:00.021-06:00

I just finished watching an interesting Oprah show. It's all about the food we eat, where it comes from, and how it has changed over the last 50 years. It was very eye opening. It was based on a documentary called Food, Inc. It's now in my Netflix que and I can't wait to see it. Here is some of what I learned from the Oprah show.

~Chickens have been re-engineered through breeding and diet to produce the breast meat consumers want. Compared to 50 years ago, chickens are now raised and slaughtered in half the time and grow twice as big. All done with hormones and anitbiotics.

~While fat-free yogurt may be 99% fat-free, they have more calories than full fat yogurt because of the sugar.

~Avoid food products containing ingredients that a third-grader cannot pronounce.

~Don't eat things your Great Grandmother wouldn't recognize. Would Granny know what Go-gurt is? Probably not.

~Most will complain about the time and expense to eat healthier, but what about the time and expense you will have in medical bills? Good point.

In America, it's often cheaper for a family to eat fast food than purchase fresh produce. Federal agricultural policies are to blame. Government subsidize the fast food in the form of the $56 billion we spent over the last 10 years to subsidize corn, soy, wheat—just a handful of crops. We don't do anything to subsidize fresh produce.

To read the full show transcript, click here.

Tattoo-ing

2010-01-31T20:52:00.024-06:00

If I were 20 I would probably want another tattoo. Yes, I already have one. I got it when I turned 18. No it is not a tramp-stamp and yes I would change the location and not have that particualr design. Some of you reading this were actually there for it when I got it too.

My mistake. A purple butterfly. If you know me you know where it is, if you don't know me, you don't need to know.

I think tattoos should symbolize your passions. Not just what you think is cool at the moment. I wouldn't really get one now because I am almost 35 years old and have a professional job. Plus I do know that bodies change shape over time and things don't look as cool when your 70. I'm just sayin. Anyway, here a couple I would consider and why. Not sure where I would put them. All small in size of course.

Anchor. Why? I love boats and being on boats on vacation. Something about the rocking motion of the boat while laying out on in the sun on crystal blue water feels amazing.

Shark. If you know me, this one should be pretty obvious.

Those are pretty much the only ones I would consider. I have been close to going through with it a couple of times, but I think I am glad I never did. Still want to though. Ha!

Stuff and Things

2010-01-30T23:13:00.024-06:00

My awesome and creative friend Shannon has inspired me again. This time to post random thoughts on my blog. I usually try to post one subject at a time, but why? I should post like my thoughts are sometimes. Random. Here is some random stuff and things. Hope it doesn't make me sound crazy.

~I think it's cool when people move like bugs/animals in the movies, like on Legion.

~The green Fabreeze candle I bought at the grocery store smells really good but I can't remember what the name of it is right now.

~I am still trying to find "my personal style", but I think I am close.

~Short hair sucks, but it works best on me.

~I tan. There, I said it. Not ashamed either. It makes my skin soft and I don't look pasty. I don't do it so much that I look like I am a "tanner", so that is good. If I do, please be a friend and tell me.

~Sometimes I think I drink too much at home. I love wine.

~I love cheese.

~I love to sleep.

~I am a pretty happy person when things aren't going down the toilet.

~I want to wear more dresses.

~I am apprehensive and excited about the future, specifically the next few months.

~I want a Volkswagon Eos.

~For example, Burlesque is becoming more mainstream and so is vintage and I am going to miss the obscurity of it. It's rare I like something long before it becomes mainstream. Kind of sucks. Non-conformists? I get it.

~Foodies are awesome and scifi is cool.

Bad Friend?

2010-01-27T22:07:00.005-06:00

Sometimes I feel like a bad friend. I am not a phone person and haven't been since Jr. High School. Not huge on instant messaging or emailing either. I do get on facebook regularly, but mostly it's just to scan for updates, make the occasional comment and shut down. I spend a lot of time alone and with Frank. I should try to spend more time with friends, but most everyone has kids and busy schedules. That is not an excuse by any means, but I try to not bother people since I know everyone has "lives". Because if I am "busy" without kids, then I figure my friends with kids are uber-busy. It kind of sucks that I get more anti-social as I get older. I know this happens with a lot of people, but I hate that it is happening to me. I still love hanging out with my friends and I enjoy everything we do and all the laughs we have. I always look forward to it. I guess I just feel bad for not making more of an effort to do it more often.

Indie Film Faves

2010-01-21T21:02:00.021-06:00

Some of my favorite indie movies are from the 90's. It seems like there were a lot out back then. Either I am out of touch and don't know about them now, or they just aren't making them like they were 15 years agp. Here are a few of my faves from back in the day (in no order).

Love and a .45 (1994)

Buffalo '66 (1998)

Natural Born Killers (1994)

Pecker (1998)

There are more than this, but for the life of me I can't remember them right now. I am sure they will come to me right after I hit the publish button. What are some of your favorite Indy movies?

Lasik Update

2010-01-16T18:33:00.008-06:00

So how did my lasik surgery go? Well, not good. The procedure itself went well. My eyes responded as they should and I can now see. Things are a bit blurry and hazy, but I was told that was normal. My right eye is red where it should be white though because they had to put the suction of death on it twice because my eye popped it off the first time somehow. They gave me a valium and I did take a xanax about an hour before the procedure. However, that was clearly not enough. I basically had a panic attack while laying there having the procedure done and cried like a baby when it was over. Everyone says it's so easy and not a big deal....ok, I can see that. But when you have an anxiety disorder like I do, it's a huge deal. The suction cup thing they said there would be some pressure. Some pressure my ass. It hurt like hell. I must be a gigantic baby. I suprised myself that it hit me like it did. But I suffered through it and it's all over. I hope to god I don't need any enhancements. If so, I now know to self medicate a lot more prior to the torture...I mean procedure. Yes, it was worth it. But damn.

For those curious, I went to Kleiman Evangelista in Arlington on Matlock. They were great. Very professional and very good. Dr. Kleiman was my surgeon and he was really nice. The facility was really nice and I would recommend them to anyone.

Eye See

2010-01-14T19:48:00.011-06:00

I finally decided to get Lasik eye surgery. Frank had this done years ago and it was a botched job. He had to go back for 5 more procedures. After all that I was NEVER going to get it done on my own eyes. But, I really need to do this. I am getting back into Scuba Diving and I don't want anything else to worry about while I am underwater. So it made sense to go ahead and do this. Good timing I suppose. I was told I may need reading glasses eventually, but I am totally fine with that. I am -5.00 in both eyes so I can't see anything to save my life. If I need to wear I glasses to drive and read, I am more than fine with that. I have had to wear my glasses since last Friday and my ears hurt and it's bugging my face. I can't wait to wake up and see the clock!!!

My surgery is tomorrow afternoon and I am excited and nervous all at the same time. They gave me a Valium to take before the surgery, but I am worried it won't be enough. Sigh. All I can do is drink some wine tonight and try not to think about it.

Up Down and Up Again

2010-01-10T18:00:00.008-06:00

About 2 years ago I was at my heaviest weight. Then I joined a gym and slowly the pounds fell off. Next thing I know I was being told by everyone how thin I was getting. Last Spring/Summer I was at my thinest. It was awesome. I worked out nearly every day just doing cardio and light weights. I went from a size 8 down to a size 2.

Then the bottom fell out for me this past August/September with a lot of personal issues. I quit working out and taking care of myself. So over the past 4 months, I have gained all my weight (plus some) back. I was even asked by an idiot with no social skills if I were pregnant. That one hurt and hurt bad. I am sure it was the shirt I was wearnig but I am sure it also had to do with my new found appreciation for specialty beers.

I have slowly gotten back into going to the gym and I am almost back to going like I was. I am also trying to make smarter choices when eating. Now that the holidays are over and there are not cookies, cakes, and other crap at work, that will help. Of course, if I just had will power that would be ideal. I will get back into my size 2 pants by summer.

New (to me) Music

2010-01-01T20:15:00.042-06:00

I have been looking for new music for a while now because I am just bored of what I have. I recently found some great new stuff. I wanted something different than the norm and I definately found it. I included links to amazon.com where you can preview the songs for yourself. Just click on the name for the link. I am loving my new finds!

1. Nouvelle Vague - best described as Brazilian bossa nova cover music of random alternative hits from the 80's like Blue Monday and I Melt With You. Actually the resort where we stayed in Dominican Republic last summer had these songs playing throughtout the resort.

2. The Ravonettes - are a modern, edgey band with a 50's punk twist. Lots of steele guitar, which I love love love!

3. Bossa N Stones (also available are Bosaa N Marley, Bossa N Roses) - more bossa nova loungey cover songs. I love the laid back familiar vibe of these songs. Great for a cocktail party!

4. Jazz and 90's (and Jazz and 80's) - jazzy hits like Suicide Blonde, Creep, Personal Jesus, etc.

5. Champion - great mix of house and alternative rock all meshed together to make an innovative sound. No heaven is the song that I first discovered. Nothing like I had heard before.

6. Muse - ok, so not so unfamiliar, but I am just now getting into it. Uprising and Starlight are amazing songs.

7. Metric - Frank stumbled on this band and thought I would like it so he bought me the CD (Fantasies) and I love it. Turns out the first song on the CD was on the show Vampire Diaries. It's pretty cool.

I have a few others sparking my interest, but I haven't taken the time to really look into yet. One of them is called Ladyhawke. Happy listening!

Then And Now-Thanks Facebook

2009-12-28T20:40:00.014-06:00

Facebook has given me a lot. It has allowed me to reconnect with old friends, express myself at a moments notice, and glimpse into the past via god-awful old photos from my past. Some people lose their looks with age and some people get better with age. The pictures below are proof that I have gotten better with age. By no means am I saying I am hot or good looking, but if you take a look at 1990, you will see my point.

Born in 1975 I was a hyper little girl who always wanted to be the center of attention. Looking back, I can say I think I was cute. Again, not tooting my horn.

Then came the teen years. I remember trying so hard to fit in and look a certain way. No idea what that "way" was though. I just remember taking an hour and a half to get ready in the mornings before school and letting a bad hair day ruin my week. Looking at the photo below, it makes me wonder what a bad hair day really looked liked? I now know why I was made fun of. I have always been rather hyper, then you add looking like this to the equation and you have me as an outcast. My friends, bless them, never told me I looked rediculous. I guess they were my true friends (you all know who you are). If I ever have a kid, specifically a girl, I definately would find a delicate way to sway her in a better direction if she wanted to look rediculous.

And now, I have finally come into my own at age 34. I really hope that in 20 years I don't look back and ask myself "What was I thinking!?!?". But lets hope as an adult, someone would tell me if I look a mess.

What Was Your Favorite Christmas Present?

2009-12-25T12:06:00.006-06:00

I a curious to know what everyone got for Christmas this year. What was your favorite present? Here are some of mine in picture form!

Christmas

2009-12-23T19:38:00.005-06:00

Is it wrong that I don’t get into the Christmas spirit? Is it wrong to not want to put up a tree or send out cards? I feel like people see me as a scrooge because I don’t get into Christmas like most people. I am sure a lot of it has to do with not having any children. But I also don’t like what the season does to some people. It is supposed to be about love and fellowship and giving and caring, yada yada yada. BUT instead I see pushy rude people who are all about themselves making sure they get little Susie that perfect present. People end up driving bad because they are pressured and in a hurry and the season just turns into this mass materialistic hysteria. Yes, there are things I do like about Christmas. I like seeing friends and family who I don’t get to see on a regular basis. I like cooking and baking, I like the cozyness of it all. I have heard “Jesus is the reason for the season” and that is an accurate statement (Thanks Al Boenker). However, not being very religious I don’t get into that aspect of it really either. Frank and I have been compared to Todd and Margo. If you have ever seen Christmas Vacation, you know exactly who I am talking about. I don’t view it as a bad thing. I am not a scrooge and I think it’s great that people love this holiday as much as they do. It’s just not my favorite. If I had it my way, we would spend every Christmas in the Caribbean soaking up the sun and loving life. Maybe not this year, but next year could be very possible. So please don’t stop sending us Christmas cards or wishing us Happy Holidays. It’s ok if it’s your thing and it doesn’t bother me. You just won’t find me doing much of that on my end.

'Twas The Weekend Before Christmas

2009-12-19T20:56:00.020-06:00

'Twas the weekend before Christmas and I got sick. It figures. I have no more available sick days left at work so this one went un-paid. Nice, huh? My body couldn't wait a week? Nope. Normally I would go in late and suffer through it, but I had NO voice, a pounding sinus headache, and my throat felt like it was on fire. I was really upset because Friday night I was supposed to hangout with Shannon for her birthday. So Friday I stayed home from work and got a lot of rest, drank gallons of hot liquids and saved my voice. Fortunately, I did make it out with Shannon and we had a blast as always. I wish I could have been more fun, but I was still not feeling good. We saw a play in Dallas at the Contemporary Theater of Dallas called the Santaland Diaries, a David Saderis comedy. It was a one man act and it was hilarious! We had quiet a time finding the place, but isn't getting there half the fun? Afterwards, we went to Nobu for dinner. We did eat there before the Britney Spears concert last March, but we were in such a rush we didn't get to really enjoy it. This time was much better, we took almost 2 hours to enjoy it! We exchanged Christmas presents and I gave her birthday present too. We both tend to gravitate towards themed gifts, which is great in my book! For Christmas I got her a large "S" monogrammed mug, Cachaça,(Brazilian Rum), and "S" monogrammed deck of cards. Shannon loves rum and playing poker. For her birthday I got her tuberose scented candle and a matching bracelet and necklace. This would be the girly, feel pretty theme. Shannon got me for Christmas the Julia Child Mastering the Art of French Cooking cookbook and a kitschy apron and towel that match the book cover. It's all super cute!

Shannon and I decided we will get together once a month or so to cook a recipe out of the book together. I am looking forward to it! I can see it now, lots of wine and burned food with a side of laughs!

Last weekend Fabian and Michelle were in town and we had a blast going to several parties and dinners. We went nonstop! This was my first time to meet Fabian's wife Michelle and she was so sweet and I had so much fun with her. She brought me some spa oil from Brazil called Natura Ekos and it smells amazing. I can see me placing an order with her to bring me some more back on her next trip home to Brazil.

And so the whirlwhind week begins tomorrow with dinner at my Mom and Dad's with my Dad's side of the family. I hope I am feeling even better by then. I made another batch of Italian Christmas Cookies as my contribution to tomorrow's dinner.

Resolution

2009-12-05T21:40:00.008-06:00

I have never been one to make New Years Resolutions. Mostly because it's hard for me to keep them but it's also too cliche. However, being child-free and an eternal empty-nester, it is (and should be) all about me! So, 2010 I am going to learn a foreign languge and try to see more of the world. I have a passport and have been to almost every country in the Caribbean, but I want to be more Global. Ideally I would like to combine business and personal. I am all I have to take care of so I am the perfect candidate to be upwardly mobile. Even if I only go to 1 location in the new year, it's definately something I want to continue this coming year and going forward. Self improvement is where it's at in 2010...the year of ME!

Yo Ho Hot Cocao!

2009-11-30T22:59:00.005-06:00

Swiss Miss is good in a pinch, but if you have some time on the weekend to get snuggly, try homemade hot cocoa with rum!

Ingredients:

•2 cups milk
•3 1/2 oz bittersweet or semi-sweet hot chocolate
•1 cinnamon stick
•2 teaspoons honey
•1 teaspoon brown sugar
•1 teaspoon vanilla extract
•2 tablespoons dark rum

Directions:

•Break chocolate into pieces.
•Combine chocolate, milk, cinnamon stick, honey and sugar in a saucepan and heat on low until chocolate is completely melted.
•Add vanilla and rum and whip with a whisk.
•Take out the cinnamon stick and pour into mugs.

Stacy and Clinton Would Not Agree

2009-11-22T14:59:00.014-06:00

What Not To Wear says to not wear novelty t-shirts, but I can't help it, I love these! I found some of these gems on www.noisebot.com

FML...Why?

2009-11-16T22:07:00.009-06:00

For 4 years I wanted a family. I then moved past it and made peace with the fact that I could not get pregnant. But now...I am haunted by it again with this unfriendly reminder every month. When infertility is "unexplained" it's next to impossible to justify it and nothing seems to make sense. God has a plan. Really? Is it God's plan to give an innocent baby to a woman who lives on the streets and is addicted to crack or to a mother who doesn't want it and neglects it and beats it? If there was a God, wouldn't he want to give a child to a family who can love it and provide for it and treat it right? Like I said...if there was a God.

Don't get me wrong, I am still ok with not having a baby right now. To be honest, this is not the best time to introduce a baby into my marriage or to this society. But still, I am human. I am a woman. I was put on this earth to bear children. I was made, evolved, what have you, to carry a child. I am broken, worthless, and good for nothing when it comes to my purpose. Thank goodness we live in modern times and that is no longer the purpose of a woman.

People always say there is a reason for everything. I honestly don't believe that. Watching the news and knowing what I know gives no validity to that arguement.

Finding a purpose is hard. I have struggled and weathered my own personal storm. For a while I shunned all things domestic and had a mini-mid-life-crisis. I am over that now, and I guess you can say I am in phase two. I have no clue what phase that is other than that I am stable, healthy (mentally and physically), and just trying to focus on making myself and my life better.

Things will click, they always do. I just wish I wasn't haunted every month by the ghost of a child I will never have.

Best Sunday Afternoon Movies

2009-11-15T14:49:00.010-06:00

Some of my favorite movies that I can watch over and over again are:

1. The Holiday - a story most women can identify with in one way or another.
2. Something's Got To Give - a classy and stylish romantic comedy.
3. Harry Potter (any of them) - fun and whimsical.
4. Sex and the City - familiar and good for both laughing and crying in one sitting.
5. National Lampoon's Vacation (any of them) - a movie where you know every line but it never gets old.

Eat This, Not That

2009-11-02T20:50:00.013-06:00

Most of us are familiar with the eat this-not that section of every Glamour, Cosmo, Shape, and Women's Health magazines. I am always suprised by at least one of their examples. Did you know that there are 1,360 calories in the T.G.I. Friday's Pecan Crusted Chicken Salad? You might think it's a good choice, but nope. There is a wealth of information available to us out there to help us make good decisions. This website, is a great place to start. There is also a book too! I will definately be consulting this before I go to the grocery store again and I will certainly study this info to have some good knowledge in my arsenal before I eat out again. Happy eating!

Game On!

2009-10-29T21:23:00.002-05:00

I can't stay away from Facebook no matter how hard I try. I have absolutely no self control. Let's not forget that I am pretty bored and don't have a whole lot else going on when my husband is never home, blah blah blah.

Gluttony

2009-10-29T20:58:00.011-05:00

Selfishness...Indulgence...Me. I have spent a lot of time alone as of late. When I first started spending time alone, I acted like a teenager who was left alone for the first time. I would eat Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Bean Ice cream topped with Bailey's Irish Cream for dinner. I would eat pizza and drink wine. Why would I act like this? I have lived like this for a couple years now, so you think I would be used to it. But I'm not. Why am I a 14 year old trapped in a 34 year old body? I have no children, no "real" responsibilities. But is that any excuse acting like this? Is it really wrong? Would you if you could? I am just glad I am not left alone for long periods of time. What would I become if I were? I should not be in charge of myself. I treat myself like that one cool aunt who would let you do whatever you wanted with no recourse. My body is not Caligula...I know this. My life is not a cartoon. I know this. But I seem to go by the mantra of "whateva-I do what I want" when left alone. Ug. With that said, I do have my limits and self-awarenes. But I sometimes wonder...why can't I be normal, and why do I use "..." when I type so much?

Deactivated

2009-10-28T19:39:00.002-05:00

Once again, my love affair with Facebook is off again. Yes I was spending too much time on it and yes, I was posting too much personal stuff. I have grounded myself from it before, but that never lasted long. The best thing to do is just deactivate my account. That way I am less likely to get the urge to sign back on. I may be back on it later...but for now, I must deactivate! My close friends and family know how to reach me. So I will talk to you on the "outside"!

Visit Of A Lifetime!

2009-10-26T17:49:00.005-05:00

I work for an amazing company that is owned by Berkshire Hathaway. We were lucky to be graced with the presence of Warren Buffett and his Board of Directors. Included on that board is Bill Gates. Amazing. They came in for a presentation by our President and then were supposed to take a tour, but the presentation and Q&A ran long (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) and they did not have time to take the tour. Me and my fellow stalkers (I mean coworkers) in the office did get some pretty good pictures of them getting off the bus and back on to leave. Here are some of the pics. Still surreal if you ask me. (Pics are kind of hard to see, but if you open them and zoom in you can see their faces better)

I Want To Live Here

2009-10-22T20:51:00.006-05:00

Copenhagen, Denmark. Oprah reported the other day on the happiest places on earth. Nope...Disneyland wasn't one of them. The place that appealed most to me was Copenhagen Denmark. Take a look at some of these reasons and tell me you wouldn't want to live here. Not to mention, it would be like living in IKEA!

~Environmentally Consciousious - A third of the population rides bikes around the city, many with grocery bags or small children in tow.

~Homelessness - Poverty and unemployment are also extremely rare in this nation of 5.5 million people. If you lose your job, Nanna says the government continues to pay up to 90 percent of your salary for four years.

~Healthcare is free for everyone.

~The Danish government also takes a special interest in mothers and their children. Women typically get six to 12 months in paid maternity leave.

~College - citizens get paid to go the Universities from $400 to $500.

Click here to read the whole article.

Bitchslappin Greatness!

2009-10-19T21:26:00.001-05:00

Hizzie

2009-10-19T20:03:00.003-05:00

After a month on the market, our house has only had 3 showings. We had an open house with only one straggler too. It's time to step up our game and reduce our asking price. We are going down from $195K to $189K. Hopefully this will bring in more traffic. It's not the best time of year to sell, but there are still buyers out there. Still have no idea what is going to happen if we sell the house. For that, I suppose only time will tell. All I can do is hope and wish for a miracle.

A Rant

2009-10-17T16:52:00.005-05:00

Seriously, does Best Buy need that many employees? All of which are spending more time helping each other than helping customers! Also, just because it's Saturday doesn't mean you can wear pajama bottoms and slippers to run your errands. Not to mention when you are walking out of Kirkland’s with your fellow old lady friends, don't stop in the middle of the line of traffic to use your hands to tell the important part of your story. Here is a little tip Grandma...you are not the only person on the planet. WAKE UP and get the F out of the way!!!

Oprah vs. Dale Hansen

2009-10-14T17:50:00.004-05:00

TMZ reported last night that Oprah co-hosted the local news on WFAA the other day when she was in town to film at the State Fair. Dale Hansen, the sports anchor, clearly doesn't give a F*&K and slammed Dr. Phill on live TV. I thought it was greatness. Watch!

Punkin

2009-10-12T17:47:00.013-05:00

I love this time of year. Not because of the weather. Not because of Halloween. Not because of the changing leaves. But because Pumpkin is EVERYWHERE and in EVERYTHING! I can't tell you how much I love Pumpkin. I feel like Bubba Blue from Forest Gump I like Pumpkin so much. Some of my favorites are:

Michelob Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale
Pumpkin Pie
Pumpkin Spice Lattes
Pumpkin Curry Soup
Williams Sonoma Pecan Pumpkin Butter
Williams Sonoma Pumpkin Spice Quick Bread
Pumpkin Butter Gooey Cake

If you like Pumpkin, check out 30 Ways To Eat Pumpkin!

In Da Kitchen

2009-10-11T20:52:00.005-05:00

I have gotten back into cooking lately and have been quiet creative. I recently made Cinnamon Chipotle Brownies for a coworker's birthday. I just took a basic Ghirardelli Brownie mix and added in some ground Chipotle Chili Powder and Cinnamon. I have no idea how much I used, but it turned out great! I made a smaller batch for myself this weekend (because I really need it...I know) and they didn't have the same kind of kick the others did. I guess I need to play with the measurements.

Frank also installed a glass tile mosaic backsplash today. I thought I would be able to help, but no dice. Hopefully it will help our house sell faster. I thought it would take a lot longer to do, but he started on it around 4PM today and finished around 8PM. He'll grout in the next day or two so it will be all done for our Realtor Luncheon our Realtor is putting on this Thursday (for other Realtors).

Now that all that is done today, I am able to relax with some vino and my pups and watch some Ghost Hunters...cause I'm a nerd.

I will post pics of the backsplash this week. I want to wait until after the grout is completed,etc.

Shopping

2009-10-10T20:03:00.025-05:00

Some of the places I should shop, but don't:
Anthropologie
Boden
L'Occitane

Some of the places I shop, but should shop at more often include:
Central Market
Williams-Sonoma
Whole Foods
Aveda

Some of my staples include:
Ann Taylor Loft
Gap
Target
Tom Thumb
Bath and Body Works

Scuba-Don't, Scuba-Do

2009-10-10T16:15:00.004-05:00

Growing up I was always fascinated with the Ocean. There was a defining moment in 2nd grade in the library at school when I checked out a book about Sharks. From that moment on, I was hooked. I attended Sea Camp at Texas A&M Galveston when I was 15 and again when I was 16. I was going to be a Marine Biologist but I didn't have the study skills or motivation to make it through all the math and science. When I was in college, I took Scuba at UTA and got certified. I had just a handful of dives under my belt and then I had the accident. I was never all that comfortable in the water but that was probably because I was just uptight in general and never relaxed. The accident I had was all because I wasn't prepared for basic situations. My mouth got dry (which is very common) and I coughed. The thing I did wrong was not hold my regulator to keep it from coming out of my mouth. So it did and I inhaled a ton of water and panicked. I inflated my BCD and shot myself to the surface. It felt like I was kicked in the chest and I was light headed and close to blacking out. Fortunately I was only down about 20 feet. This was close to 10 years ago and I had not been diving since. Until now. I decided to give it another go and enrolled again at UTA in scuba class. This time is so different. I am calm and comfortable in the water and skills that were extremely hard for me to do before like mask clearing are second nature to me now. I am excited to be back in the water and to get back to my passion. I had missed out on so many experiences over the years in places like Grand Cayman, Aruba, St. Lucia, Puerto Vallarta, Turks and Caicos, and Dominican Republic to name a few. I owe it to myself to not just give up on my passion and to give myself another chance at doing something I truly love. So the question now is...where to next?

Back To Blogging - Random Post

2009-10-09T21:32:00.006-05:00

The last several posts have basically said I know I have not been keeping my blog up to date. It's been over a month since my last post and so much has been going on. Most of it too personal to get into too much detail (other than the cryptic Facebook status updates - what was I thinking?). If you are close to me and Frank then you know what's been going on. Things are getting more stable and I am happier. Still a lot to work out. Our house is still on the market. It's only been a month, but we have only had 2 showings and 1 open house with 1 looker.

Aside from the drama the past month or so has brought, I have not been working out and I have been watching way too much TV. Currently, I am watching:

Project Runway
Smallville
Supernatural
Vampire Diaries (lame, but giving it a chance)
True Blood (just finished the 1st season)
Ghost Hunters
Ghost Whisperer
...do you see a theme here?

I have also been cooking again and being more domestic. I abandoned anything domestic this past summer to party like I was 20 instead. Once I figured out this having a kid thing wasn't going to happen, it’s like a switch was flipped in my head and my brain was transported back 10 years. What the hell was I thinking? It reaked havoc on my marriage, my body, my mind. I guess I was thinking if I wasn't going to have children, I didn't need to be domestic. I also had 4 years of stress built up of trying to get pregnant and being let down each and every month. I felt free almost like I didn't need to stay healthy anymore and I could treat my body like a playground of sorts. Every decision I made in the past 4 years had "what if I get pregnant" at the forefront of it. I also stopped working out and put on 10 pounds. So I have been easing back into the gym and hope to be back to my normal self soon.

Anyway, I am bored of Facebook, but will keep my account so I can post links to my blog updates and still keep up with my friends.

I know this was a random post...but my thoughts have been random as of late while trying to rediscover myself.

Life Is A Difficult Task

2009-09-04T23:32:00.005-05:00

I have always been a fan of comfort and peace. I have lived in the same house for 7 years, had the same spouse for 14 years and have lived in the same state for close to 30 years. However, life does change. I have a lot of friends who seem to have an easy time taking life as it comes, but for some reason, I can't imagine myself doing the same. If I need to pick up and change my life, why wouldn't it be as easy for me? What is my problem? Why is change so hard? I seem to be resistant. Well, it's because I don't want it to change. In life, there are things beyond our control...no matter how hard we try to control them. People say "you will be ok" and "you will make it through this", but I think that all they mean is that "I will not die and will remain amongst the living". Not good enough. I am willing to fight for what I care for and I am not willing to give up on what means the most to me. I will not go down with this ship. Love is love. No matter how messed up a person may be. We are ourselves before we are joined and we need to take care of ourselves in order to be one. And that is what I plan to do...

More to come.

Reading Rainbow

2009-08-25T21:31:00.011-05:00

The only time I ever read is when I travel. I have an upcoming trip to Chicago this week so I plan on reading the True Blood books. I will be borrowing them from a friend, but I did go to Barnes and Noble to get a few backups incase I end up in a different mood. I got Eat, Pray, Love and another book called Up For Renewal. Both titles seem to be perfect for my life at this point. Anyway, I am super excited about my upcoming trip and I am so ready to get away for a couple of days to hang with my girls!

Following The Formula

2009-08-19T22:15:00.010-05:00

When did it become necessary to follow a certain formula for life? Birth + School + Work + Marriage + Kids = Happiness? Says who? I thought I had to follow this formula. I thought this was how you did "life", not to mention I have never been good at math. Since deciding not to have children, I have been through a cornucopia of emotions and discoveries. It's been hard on me and Frank and confusing to my friends and those who don't know me all that well. I guess it can best be described as a "mid-life crisis". As embarrassing as it is to admit, I am having one. I have gone through episodes of partying, episodes of depression, episodes of self-doubt, and episodes of not knowing what to do with myself and my life (to name a few). I know I am not the only female in her 30's to go through this scenario, but it feels like it. Sheesh! It's time to start a new chapter of my life and it is scary. Now if I can just figure out how to do it...

Slacker

2009-08-04T22:20:00.005-05:00

I have really been slacking on my blog. I have had a lot going on and not a lot going on all at the same time. Sorry to confuse anyone with that. I have not had a lot to write about and have not wanted to post any goofy pics or anything like that. But here is a run down of my life over the past few weeks (at least what I want to share).

1. Had a birthday and turned 34. This year was harder than others for some reason.
2. Went to Eddie V's for my birthday and it was one of the best meals I have had in a long time.
3. Got to participate in the Mouser golf tournament again this year. I will post a link to the photos soon.
4. Booked my flight and bought my dress for Missy's wedding in Chicago at the end of the month!
5. Shannon is coming back!!!!!!!!!!!! I am beyond thrilled, but I also know this is really hard for her and her family having to leave their family in Kansas.
6. Decided not to have children. This is a pretty big one. After trying for 4 years and doing everything but invitro, it was just time to say "uncle" because we just don't want to spend $15K right now. Also, if we don't want to spend the money, maybe we don't want it bad enough. BUT I do feel a HUGE weight lifted from my shoulders. I just need to figure out what to do with myself now. That has been the hard part.

That's pretty much it, although I a sure I am missing something. I will try to be more attentive to my blog. I guess sometimes I think if I am not interested in my life...who else will be?

Missy's Bachlorette Weekend

2009-07-12T17:29:00.010-05:00

Friday night kicked off Missy's Bachelorette Extravaganza. We had a blast! It is always great to see everyone. Here is the run down:

Friday night - Dinner at Joe T. Garcia's in Fort Worth, followed by bar hopping in downtown Fort Worth. We hit up The Library, Fox and Hound, and an "urban" club called Tru Lounge. It was quiet the interesting evening. There were a lot of shots, a lot of drinking, and a lot of fun! I got home by 2-ish.

Saturday - We met at the Gaylord Texan in Grapevine for a day of spa-ing, swimming, and lounging. I got a facial and it was amazing! It is always nice when your facialist says she "doesn't see any lines or wrinkles" and that I "have great skin"! Good stuff.

Saturday night - We all met in Missy's room for her lingerie shower and drinks. Tanya brought Sweet Tea Vodka. I had never heard of it, but one sip and I had a love/hate relationship with it. It is so good, but would be so bad for me to start drinking it (because I probably wouldn't stop). After the shower, we had dinner at Ama Lur inside the hotel.

Sunday morning - We ended the weekend with fantastic brunch. When I got home, I spent some good, quality time on the couch napping.

I had a great weekend and can't wait for the wedding!!!

It's Too Hot To Blog...

2009-07-03T15:45:00.003-05:00

That's pretty much it. Not much is going on right now, so I don't have much to write about. Sorry. Gilly????

Dominican Part 2

2009-06-25T21:39:00.004-05:00

I finally got around to getting the Jeep Safari pics off Frank's phone. We took a jeep caravan into the mountains, saw a spontaneous cock fight, and finished up at a beach. I forgot my camera, so Frank took a few pics with his iPhone.

Frank doing his best Matthew McconaugHEY! impression...

Facebook/Life Changes

2009-06-19T21:23:00.005-05:00

Facebook and Life Changes. No, not necessarily in that order...but I wanted to clarify some things. Yes, I did change my marital status on Facebook. I also changed ALL of my personal info. I just had to do it one item at a time. I decided to take off my personal info from Facebook. I removed my blog and my birthday, etc. Frank and I are FANTASTIC! No trouble in paradise. I just decided I don't want to volunteer personal stats. People who are on my facebook already know me, so why do they need to know my birthday and place of birth? Anyway, I just wanted to clarify for those who were curious. ALL IS GOOD IN THE LAND OF KIRK!

To address the Wild Child post, I want to elaborate on that. For the past 4 years I have been trying to get pregnant and every life decision I made hung on the whole premise of "what if I get pregnant". Not anymore. I am going to live my life for me and only me. I will buy whatever car I want to buy, Porsche excluded :( and I will do more abs at the gym..ha! Just stupid things like that. I would also like to try some more adventurous vacations. Go rafting or maybe take up Scuba again. I don't know, but I do feel almost re-born in a way. I feel very free and I love it.

Wild Child

2009-06-18T22:56:00.004-05:00

Lately I have been "off", but it is hard to explain without embarrassment. All I can say is that I need to grow up. I feel this urge to be wild and to go through a 2nd...2nd decade, if that makes any sense. I am not sure if it is because I have decided that I am ok if I never have a child or that I just spent 9 days decompressing in the Caribbean. I have not been happier in a long time. My marriage is great, my job is great, but I just feel restless. I need to find a way to release my inner wild-child safely without damaging anything or anyone. I'm itchy.

A Whole Lotta W.T.F

2009-06-12T17:42:00.005-05:00

To Try Or Not To Try...Should It Be A Question?

2009-06-11T21:22:00.012-05:00

When we went on vacation, I thought that would be a good time to discuss the future of my fertility and our plans for a family. That didn't happen. Instead, I find myself at a cross-road. Frank has been and will always be happy either way (with or without kids). He has such a go with the flow attitude, it makes me sick sometimes. I mean, I envy it...I really do. Lately, I actually think I might be adopting that attitude. In the 4 years we have been trying, I have been here before. I get tired of trying. Tired of thinking about it. Well, I am back here again. I have so many "what ifs" right now. What if I get pregnant and our marriage fails due to stress? What if I get pregnant and regret that we can't just up and go like we are so used to? What if I get pregnant and our kid turns out to be a nightmare even though we did the best we could do raising it? Right now, I am content. I like my life right now. I don't feel empty. But will I feel empty when I am old and alone with no family? Would I regret not having children? Probably. We do have still have options that we have not tried and I have not been as aggressive as I could be. That is the other part that makes me wonder. If I wanted this 1000%, wouldn't I have already done everything in my power? In a way, I feel numb to anything family related. But that kind of feels good right now.

Dominican Republic 2009

2009-06-09T18:55:00.037-05:00

Trip report and pics as promised. This year we went to La Romana, Dominican Republic. It was a relaxing and interesting 9 days. Dominican Republic is a huge European holiday hot spot. We were suprised to not see that many American's. The resort was nice. We stayed at the Dreams La Romana. English is not the first, second, or third language on the island or at the resort. Because of that, it made it somewhat hard to communicate (both ways). Fortunately, Frank does speak some spanish, so that helped some. We are glad to be home after a layover Sunday night in Miami (unplanned of course). Here are some of the pics!

This is the little lunch place we ate nearly every day.

View from lunch

This is a private little pool over by one of the spa gazebos looking over the beach

Day 2 - Catalina Island. Frank did some diving and I did some snorkeling and laying on the beach (which I found is something I am super good at!)

"I'm ScubaMan"...

ScubaMan and his trusty sidekick (at least for the day)

ScubaMan - getting the girl, savin the day!

Shakira's house...according to Gri Gri divers.

Marina at Casa De Campo (the neighborhood Shakira lives in)

View from my lounge chair on the beach

Other random images from the trip

We also did a Jeep Safari into the mountains and a catamaran sail to Isla Soana. I will try post those pics tomorrow because this is already a long post. Since we are on the topic of vacations and if you are planning a cruise, my friend Shannon has a cool new blog with some good info on it. It's not just for vacation tips, but it also has other life tips aswell. You can find her at remarkablyclever.com!

Vacation 2009

2009-06-08T17:43:00.002-05:00

We just got back from our vacation today. It was a long 9 days(make that 10 with our unexpected lay-over in Miami last night). I have some good pics and I will be posting a trip report sometime this week.

Side note: I read the 1st two Twilight books and now I see what all the hype is about. They were amazing! I am definately hooked. How hooked you ask? So hooked, that I ran up to Blockbuster and bought a used copy to watch tonight. Sad. Sad.

Uninteresting

2009-05-20T21:58:00.002-05:00

Sigh. It seems like I have only been posting mind-numbing, useless blabber on my blog lately because I have had noting going on. Work has been busy and my life is on auto pilot right now. My days consist of (literally) work, gym, tan, shower, cook, bed. See...not much to write about. We do go on our trip very soon and I am excited to start getting ready for it. When we get back, it will be back on the baby train. Hopefully summer will get more exciting and I will have some meaningful posts. Snooze.

Random Things

2009-05-20T21:42:00.007-05:00

...that make me laugh.

Let Me Tells Yous Sump'n

2009-05-15T21:59:00.008-05:00

I love the Real Housewives on Bravo and this past week, they debuted the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Yep. It was trash-tastic! I watched it tonight and it was good. I am not a huge fan of the housewives of NYC, and I never saw the Atlanta crew. I will always be partial to the OC...and now NJ had me at hello. I grew up with my Mom watching soaps and I never got into them, but this, I like.

Product Junkie - Beauty Products

2009-05-10T20:06:00.010-05:00

I am an active Product junkie. I love trying new makeup, hair products, etc. So I thought I would share some things I have recently tried that I am loving.

1. John Frieda Root Awakening shampoo and leave-in conditioner. This is the first "drug store" shampoo that I have tried where the smell reminds me of a salon brand. I love Aveda. Mostly because of the way their products smell and this one is right up there.

2. Vaseline Intensive Care Aloe Fresh Moisturizing Daily Body Gel and Body Lotion. The gel is light and refreshing. It is not sticky on your skin and dries, well...dry. I put this on first thing after I shower then I follow up with the body lotion. My skin feel soft and refreshed.

3. Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula Moisturizing Gel Oil SPF 15. Another moisturizing gel, but this one is different. It has SPF 15 and leaves my skin feeling velvety. Plus it smells yummy. Frank said I smelled like a pastry. That can't be bad, right? This one also makes my skin look really shiny, but not in a greased up-oily way.

Happy Birthday Frank

2009-05-09T11:04:00.018-05:00

Today is Frank's birthday! He is officially 35. He had a good birthday week. On Tuesday, I took him to see Flight of the Conchords in concert with our friends Todd and Kristi, then on Wednesday went down to the Ranch. Today is his actual birthday so I got up this morning and gave him his present first thing. I got him a Tusa dive bag for our trip and a gift certificate to race his car at Apex Driving Academy! Tonight I am cooking Lobster tails and Crab - his favorite. Happy Birthday Frank!!!

Sorry

2009-05-03T22:08:00.001-05:00

Just another reason why I love Kristen Wiig.

Aloha!

2009-05-03T13:45:00.012-05:00

One place I have always wanted to go is Hawaii. We have almost experienced all of the Caribbean (that we care to, at least). So sometime in the next few years, I hope we will have a chance to go to Hawaii. I saw an episode of Bridget's Sexiest Beaches the other day, and everything she did on the show looked like so much fun and right up my alley! Here is a breakdown of all the fun!

~Underwater Scooters in Honolulu
~Shark Encounter in Haleiwa
~Air Powered Hang Gliders in Haleiwa
~4WD Tour & Waterfall Hike
~Helicopter Tour in Waikoloa
~Manta Ray Night Dive in Kailua-Kona
~Tons of super yummy restaurants

Now I really have the itch to go!

C.T. Annie

2009-04-30T23:56:00.005-05:00

Oh my. I saw this while checking out D-Listed tonight. It's called a Cuchini. And I thought Merkins were bad. Why do I know this crap? I shouldn't know this. I guess nothing suprises me anymore. So wrong.

Suuuu Weeee

2009-04-30T23:37:00.005-05:00

Swine Flu. A ton of schools locally have been closed until mid-May because of this new strain of flu. The Catholic dioceses is urging church members to stay home, Mayfest in Fort Worth has been cancelled, and almost all sporting events and extracurricular activities involving children have been cancelled too. However...Trader's Village is running commercials like they are going out of style for this weekend. I don't get it.

Sad Seas

2009-04-26T16:35:00.011-05:00

It is no surprise that people have been dumping trash in the ocean. However, did you know that there is a mass of trash in the Pacific Ocean that stretches from California to Japan and is 90 feet deep in some parts? Shocking. I watched Oprah's Earth Day special this weekend and was literally brought to tears at some of what I saw. Birds, Whales, Fish, and Turtles are being entangled in this trash or eating it, thinking it is food, and dying. Some of these animals are even getting Breast Cancer from the toxins in these plastics they are ingesting. This is sad for these animals, but what people don't think about is that it is ultimately going to and already is coming back to us. These fish that are ingesting contaminated water (with pesticides and other chemicals) are winding up on our plates. You don't have to be an animal lover to care about the oceans. You have to love yourself. Who doesn't love themselves? So why are we letting this happen? American's are some of the most selfish people on the planet. American's like things fast, easy, convenient, and simple. Unfortunately a lot of people don't equate being green to being easy. It can be, but not a lot of people realize that. Hopefully over the next several years, the issue of conservation will continue to teach and inspire people to live better and treat themselves better by treating the earth better. This earth is all we have. Would you let your own house be treated with such negligence? Would you let your own health be neglected? Something to think about isn't it?

www.oceanconservancy.org