Following The Formula

When did it become necessary to follow a certain formula for life? Birth + School + Work + Marriage + Kids = Happiness? Says who? I thought I had to follow this formula. I thought this was how you did "life", not to mention I have never been good at math. Since deciding not to have children, I have been through a cornucopia of emotions and discoveries. It's been hard on me and Frank and confusing to my friends and those who don't know me all that well. I guess it can best be described as a "mid-life crisis". As embarrassing as it is to admit, I am having one. I have gone through episodes of partying, episodes of depression, episodes of self-doubt, and episodes of not knowing what to do with myself and my life (to name a few). I know I am not the only female in her 30's to go through this scenario, but it feels like it. Sheesh! It's time to start a new chapter of my life and it is scary. Now if I can just figure out how to do it...

Slacker

I have really been slacking on my blog. I have had a lot going on and not a lot going on all at the same time. Sorry to confuse anyone with that. I have not had a lot to write about and have not wanted to post any goofy pics or anything like that. But here is a run down of my life over the past few weeks (at least what I want to share).

1. Had a birthday and turned 34. This year was harder than others for some reason.
2. Went to Eddie V's for my birthday and it was one of the best meals I have had in a long time.
3. Got to participate in the Mouser golf tournament again this year. I will post a link to the photos soon.
4. Booked my flight and bought my dress for Missy's wedding in Chicago at the end of the month!
5. Shannon is coming back!!!!!!!!!!!! I am beyond thrilled, but I also know this is really hard for her and her family having to leave their family in Kansas.
6. Decided not to have children. This is a pretty big one. After trying for 4 years and doing everything but invitro, it was just time to say "uncle" because we just don't want to spend $15K right now. Also, if we don't want to spend the money, maybe we don't want it bad enough. BUT I do feel a HUGE weight lifted from my shoulders. I just need to figure out what to do with myself now. That has been the hard part.

That's pretty much it, although I a sure I am missing something. I will try to be more attentive to my blog. I guess sometimes I think if I am not interested in my life...who else will be?

Suuuu Weeee

Swine Flu. A ton of schools locally have been closed until mid-May because of this new strain of flu. The Catholic dioceses is urging church members to stay home, Mayfest in Fort Worth has been cancelled, and almost all sporting events and extracurricular activities involving children have been cancelled too. However...Trader's Village is running commercials like they are going out of style for this weekend. I don't get it.

Sad Seas

It is no surprise that people have been dumping trash in the ocean. However, did you know that there is a mass of trash in the Pacific Ocean that stretches from California to Japan and is 90 feet deep in some parts? Shocking. I watched Oprah's Earth Day special this weekend and was literally brought to tears at some of what I saw. Birds, Whales, Fish, and Turtles are being entangled in this trash or eating it, thinking it is food, and dying. Some of these animals are even getting Breast Cancer from the toxins in these plastics they are ingesting. This is sad for these animals, but what people don't think about is that it is ultimately going to and already is coming back to us. These fish that are ingesting contaminated water (with pesticides and other chemicals) are winding up on our plates. You don't have to be an animal lover to care about the oceans. You have to love yourself. Who doesn't love themselves? So why are we letting this happen? American's are some of the most selfish people on the planet. American's like things fast, easy, convenient, and simple. Unfortunately a lot of people don't equate being green to being easy. It can be, but not a lot of people realize that. Hopefully over the next several years, the issue of conservation will continue to teach and inspire people to live better and treat themselves better by treating the earth better. This earth is all we have. Would you let your own house be treated with such negligence? Would you let your own health be neglected? Something to think about isn't it?

www.oceanconservancy.org

New Meds...New Me

Let me just say I am not embarrassed by this post at all. Obviously. Why would I post it if I were? I have been on different medications most of my adult life. I, like thousands of others, take anti-depressants. I have taken Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, and now Zoloft. I think I finally found something that works. The others seemed to work, but not in every way I needed them to work. Zoloft seems to do the trick. I have more energy, balanced moods, and I feel good. I actually feel more chilled out than I am used to. I went to the doctor a few weeks ago because I just needed a change. I had reached my breaking point. It was hard for me to be happy. Poor Frank...I have been putting him through hormone hell. It was having a negative effect on everyone around me. Based on my symptoms, my Doctor thinks it could be partially hormone related. He did blood work to check my hormone levels and did give me a low dose hormone shot. So it's hard to tell if the hormone shot is making me feel better or if it is the meds or both. Regardless, I am happy.

Places I've Been

In no order and not limited to...

Broad (and outside of Texas):
Los Angeles, CA
Winterpark, CO
Vail, CO
Denver, CO
New York, NY
Great Neck (Long Islnd), NY
Greenwich, CT
Reno, NV
Las Vegas, NV
Miami, FL
Atlanta, GA
Alpharetta, GA
Orlando, FL
Tucson, AZ
Albequrque, NM
Kansas City, MO
Wichita, KS
San Francisco, CA
Carmel, CA
Monterrey, CA
Little Rock, AR
Nashville, TN
Oklahoma, OK
Norman, OK

Abroad:
Aruba
St. Lucia
Bonaire
Grand Caymen
Martinique
Turks and Caicos
Puerto Vallarta
Belize
Bahamas
Playa Del Carmen
Tulum
Cozumel
London, Ontario

Making Over America with Trinny & Susannah

I am a sucker for make-over shows. It's probably my favorite thing to watch. Last night I discovered a new show on TLC called Making Over America with Trinny & Susannah. It's Ab Fab meets What Not To Wear. These ladies are just as hilarious and out there as Patsy and Edina (minus the booze and cigarettes). Actually it's the original What Not To Wear. If you are like me and love make-over shows and British icons adored by gay men around the world, then this is a must see.

Quality NOT Quantity

I just finished cleaning out my closet. I followed the "if you haven't worn it in a year" rule and I also got rid of most of my capri pants (which just make me look shorter than I really am). I realized that I have a lot of the same things and I have a lot of things that I mostly bought just to have. I don't need 4 pairs of cheap black pants. I would rather own 2 pairs of really nice black pants. I also noticed I had some items that looked kind of frumpy. I think I still look relatively young, and I need to show that in my wardrobe. I am also excited about this spring/summer. It will be all about the skirt and dress for me. Since I am doing away with Carpi pants, skirts and casual dresses should be a good alternative. Being off work, I have watched so much What Not To Wear, I felt inspired.

Speaking of closets, Frank has ordered some wood and will be tearing up the carpet in the closet and laying down bamboo. He is also going to build some shelves and cabinets so that will be really nice.

Tavi - The New Girl In Town

My friend Shannon sent me a link to a blog called Style Rookie. The blog is written by a 12 year old. It is so well written and she has so much artistic talent, you wouldn't know she was only 12 if it were not in her profile (and minus the photos of her). She has so much style and such an interesting take on things. I predict she is going to go very far in life. I guess if you got it, you got it. You will have to check it out for yourself.

http://tavi-thenewgirlintown.blogspot.com/

Another Harebrained Idea

Every now and then I get a harebrained idea. There was a time where I thought I would get into real estate. I took the online course, but never got my license. I quickly (actually, while taking the course) lost interest. Then there was the time I wanted to be a wedding planner. Why would I want to put up with spoiled 20 something year old brides or annoying mothers? I also went through a phase where I wanted to be a hair dresser, or work in a spa doing spa type stuff. Who am I kidding? Well now I want to start my own business again. What? I have no idea. I would like to make something that I can sell or something, but I have not a creative bone in my body. Don't get me wrong, I like my job and I give it 100%. I just want a side hobby or side business (not to be confused with a 2nd job!). So why do I get these urges to be an entrepreneur or to do something creative, when clearly, I don't have any ideas or any drive and motivation to do it? Obviously I have something that wants to come out. I guess I need to figure out where to re-direct these desires where I will actually do something or get something out of them.

What Gets You Through Rough Times?

From time to time when I have a bad day, or when I feel the world is against me, I remember this lecture given by Randy Pausch (which I saw for the first time on Oprah a while back). I am not a lecture person because I get board easily. I can be a bit A.D.D sometimes. However, this one is worth taking the time to hear. It may seem lame, or it may seem boring, but it's one of the most powerful things I have ever heard in my life. This is my "go to" when I get down in the dumps. It shows me that things are not as bad as I think they are and it reminds me to appreciate my life.

I Wussed Out of Facebook

In an effort to simplify my life, I have opted out of Facebook. I will still be keeping my blog so I can stay in touch with my friends and of course, there is still email (which seems so 5 minutes ago compared to "social networking").