Monday, December 28, 2009

Then And Now-Thanks Facebook

Facebook has given me a lot. It has allowed me to reconnect with old friends, express myself at a moments notice, and glimpse into the past via god-awful old photos from my past. Some people lose their looks with age and some people get better with age. The pictures below are proof that I have gotten better with age. By no means am I saying I am hot or good looking, but if you take a look at 1990, you will see my point.

Born in 1975 I was a hyper little girl who always wanted to be the center of attention. Looking back, I can say I think I was cute. Again, not tooting my horn.


Then came the teen years. I remember trying so hard to fit in and look a certain way. No idea what that "way" was though. I just remember taking an hour and a half to get ready in the mornings before school and letting a bad hair day ruin my week. Looking at the photo below, it makes me wonder what a bad hair day really looked liked? I now know why I was made fun of. I have always been rather hyper, then you add looking like this to the equation and you have me as an outcast. My friends, bless them, never told me I looked rediculous. I guess they were my true friends (you all know who you are). If I ever have a kid, specifically a girl, I definately would find a delicate way to sway her in a better direction if she wanted to look rediculous.


And now, I have finally come into my own at age 34. I really hope that in 20 years I don't look back and ask myself "What was I thinking!?!?". But lets hope as an adult, someone would tell me if I look a mess.

Friday, December 25, 2009

What Was Your Favorite Christmas Present?

I a curious to know what everyone got for Christmas this year. What was your favorite present? Here are some of mine in picture form!


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas


Is it wrong that I don’t get into the Christmas spirit? Is it wrong to not want to put up a tree or send out cards? I feel like people see me as a scrooge because I don’t get into Christmas like most people. I am sure a lot of it has to do with not having any children. But I also don’t like what the season does to some people. It is supposed to be about love and fellowship and giving and caring, yada yada yada. BUT instead I see pushy rude people who are all about themselves making sure they get little Susie that perfect present. People end up driving bad because they are pressured and in a hurry and the season just turns into this mass materialistic hysteria. Yes, there are things I do like about Christmas. I like seeing friends and family who I don’t get to see on a regular basis. I like cooking and baking, I like the cozyness of it all. I have heard “Jesus is the reason for the season” and that is an accurate statement (Thanks Al Boenker). However, not being very religious I don’t get into that aspect of it really either. Frank and I have been compared to Todd and Margo. If you have ever seen Christmas Vacation, you know exactly who I am talking about. I don’t view it as a bad thing. I am not a scrooge and I think it’s great that people love this holiday as much as they do. It’s just not my favorite. If I had it my way, we would spend every Christmas in the Caribbean soaking up the sun and loving life. Maybe not this year, but next year could be very possible. So please don’t stop sending us Christmas cards or wishing us Happy Holidays. It’s ok if it’s your thing and it doesn’t bother me. You just won’t find me doing much of that on my end.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

'Twas The Weekend Before Christmas

'Twas the weekend before Christmas and I got sick. It figures. I have no more available sick days left at work so this one went un-paid. Nice, huh? My body couldn't wait a week? Nope. Normally I would go in late and suffer through it, but I had NO voice, a pounding sinus headache, and my throat felt like it was on fire. I was really upset because Friday night I was supposed to hangout with Shannon for her birthday. So Friday I stayed home from work and got a lot of rest, drank gallons of hot liquids and saved my voice. Fortunately, I did make it out with Shannon and we had a blast as always. I wish I could have been more fun, but I was still not feeling good. We saw a play in Dallas at the Contemporary Theater of Dallas called the Santaland Diaries, a David Saderis comedy. It was a one man act and it was hilarious! We had quiet a time finding the place, but isn't getting there half the fun? Afterwards, we went to Nobu for dinner. We did eat there before the Britney Spears concert last March, but we were in such a rush we didn't get to really enjoy it. This time was much better, we took almost 2 hours to enjoy it! We exchanged Christmas presents and I gave her birthday present too. We both tend to gravitate towards themed gifts, which is great in my book! For Christmas I got her a large "S" monogrammed mug, Cacha├ža,(Brazilian Rum), and "S" monogrammed deck of cards. Shannon loves rum and playing poker. For her birthday I got her tuberose scented candle and a matching bracelet and necklace. This would be the girly, feel pretty theme. Shannon got me for Christmas the Julia Child Mastering the Art of French Cooking cookbook and a kitschy apron and towel that match the book cover. It's all super cute!

Shannon and I decided we will get together once a month or so to cook a recipe out of the book together. I am looking forward to it! I can see it now, lots of wine and burned food with a side of laughs!

Last weekend Fabian and Michelle were in town and we had a blast going to several parties and dinners. We went nonstop! This was my first time to meet Fabian's wife Michelle and she was so sweet and I had so much fun with her. She brought me some spa oil from Brazil called Natura Ekos and it smells amazing. I can see me placing an order with her to bring me some more back on her next trip home to Brazil.

And so the whirlwhind week begins tomorrow with dinner at my Mom and Dad's with my Dad's side of the family. I hope I am feeling even better by then. I made another batch of Italian Christmas Cookies as my contribution to tomorrow's dinner.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Resolution


I have never been one to make New Years Resolutions. Mostly because it's hard for me to keep them but it's also too cliche. However, being child-free and an eternal empty-nester, it is (and should be) all about me! So, 2010 I am going to learn a foreign languge and try to see more of the world. I have a passport and have been to almost every country in the Caribbean, but I want to be more Global. Ideally I would like to combine business and personal. I am all I have to take care of so I am the perfect candidate to be upwardly mobile. Even if I only go to 1 location in the new year, it's definately something I want to continue this coming year and going forward. Self improvement is where it's at in 2010...the year of ME!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Yo Ho Hot Cocao!

Swiss Miss is good in a pinch, but if you have some time on the weekend to get snuggly, try homemade hot cocoa with rum!

Ingredients:

•2 cups milk
•3 1/2 oz bittersweet or semi-sweet hot chocolate
•1 cinnamon stick
•2 teaspoons honey
•1 teaspoon brown sugar
•1 teaspoon vanilla extract
•2 tablespoons dark rum

Directions:

•Break chocolate into pieces.
•Combine chocolate, milk, cinnamon stick, honey and sugar in a saucepan and heat on low until chocolate is completely melted.
•Add vanilla and rum and whip with a whisk.
•Take out the cinnamon stick and pour into mugs.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Stacy and Clinton Would Not Agree

What Not To Wear says to not wear novelty t-shirts, but I can't help it, I love these! I found some of these gems on www.noisebot.com

Monday, November 16, 2009

FML...Why?

For 4 years I wanted a family. I then moved past it and made peace with the fact that I could not get pregnant. But now...I am haunted by it again with this unfriendly reminder every month. When infertility is "unexplained" it's next to impossible to justify it and nothing seems to make sense. God has a plan. Really? Is it God's plan to give an innocent baby to a woman who lives on the streets and is addicted to crack or to a mother who doesn't want it and neglects it and beats it? If there was a God, wouldn't he want to give a child to a family who can love it and provide for it and treat it right? Like I said...if there was a God.

Don't get me wrong, I am still ok with not having a baby right now. To be honest, this is not the best time to introduce a baby into my marriage or to this society. But still, I am human. I am a woman. I was put on this earth to bear children. I was made, evolved, what have you, to carry a child. I am broken, worthless, and good for nothing when it comes to my purpose. Thank goodness we live in modern times and that is no longer the purpose of a woman.

People always say there is a reason for everything. I honestly don't believe that. Watching the news and knowing what I know gives no validity to that arguement.

Finding a purpose is hard. I have struggled and weathered my own personal storm. For a while I shunned all things domestic and had a mini-mid-life-crisis. I am over that now, and I guess you can say I am in phase two. I have no clue what phase that is other than that I am stable, healthy (mentally and physically), and just trying to focus on making myself and my life better.

Things will click, they always do. I just wish I wasn't haunted every month by the ghost of a child I will never have.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Best Sunday Afternoon Movies

Some of my favorite movies that I can watch over and over again are:

1. The Holiday - a story most women can identify with in one way or another.
2. Something's Got To Give - a classy and stylish romantic comedy.
3. Harry Potter (any of them) - fun and whimsical.
4. Sex and the City - familiar and good for both laughing and crying in one sitting.
5. National Lampoon's Vacation (any of them) - a movie where you know every line but it never gets old.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Eat This, Not That


Most of us are familiar with the eat this-not that section of every Glamour, Cosmo, Shape, and Women's Health magazines. I am always suprised by at least one of their examples. Did you know that there are 1,360 calories in the T.G.I. Friday's Pecan Crusted Chicken Salad? You might think it's a good choice, but nope. There is a wealth of information available to us out there to help us make good decisions. This website, is a great place to start. There is also a book too! I will definately be consulting this before I go to the grocery store again and I will certainly study this info to have some good knowledge in my arsenal before I eat out again. Happy eating!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Game On!

I can't stay away from Facebook no matter how hard I try. I have absolutely no self control. Let's not forget that I am pretty bored and don't have a whole lot else going on when my husband is never home, blah blah blah.

Gluttony

Selfishness...Indulgence...Me. I have spent a lot of time alone as of late. When I first started spending time alone, I acted like a teenager who was left alone for the first time. I would eat Haagen-Dazs Vanilla Bean Ice cream topped with Bailey's Irish Cream for dinner. I would eat pizza and drink wine. Why would I act like this? I have lived like this for a couple years now, so you think I would be used to it. But I'm not. Why am I a 14 year old trapped in a 34 year old body? I have no children, no "real" responsibilities. But is that any excuse acting like this? Is it really wrong? Would you if you could? I am just glad I am not left alone for long periods of time. What would I become if I were? I should not be in charge of myself. I treat myself like that one cool aunt who would let you do whatever you wanted with no recourse. My body is not Caligula...I know this. My life is not a cartoon. I know this. But I seem to go by the mantra of "whateva-I do what I want" when left alone. Ug. With that said, I do have my limits and self-awarenes. But I sometimes wonder...why can't I be normal, and why do I use "..." when I type so much?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Deactivated

Once again, my love affair with Facebook is off again. Yes I was spending too much time on it and yes, I was posting too much personal stuff. I have grounded myself from it before, but that never lasted long. The best thing to do is just deactivate my account. That way I am less likely to get the urge to sign back on. I may be back on it later...but for now, I must deactivate! My close friends and family know how to reach me. So I will talk to you on the "outside"!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Visit Of A Lifetime!

I work for an amazing company that is owned by Berkshire Hathaway. We were lucky to be graced with the presence of Warren Buffett and his Board of Directors. Included on that board is Bill Gates. Amazing. They came in for a presentation by our President and then were supposed to take a tour, but the presentation and Q&A ran long (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) and they did not have time to take the tour. Me and my fellow stalkers (I mean coworkers) in the office did get some pretty good pictures of them getting off the bus and back on to leave. Here are some of the pics. Still surreal if you ask me. (Pics are kind of hard to see, but if you open them and zoom in you can see their faces better)



Thursday, October 22, 2009

I Want To Live Here


Copenhagen, Denmark. Oprah reported the other day on the happiest places on earth. Nope...Disneyland wasn't one of them. The place that appealed most to me was Copenhagen Denmark. Take a look at some of these reasons and tell me you wouldn't want to live here. Not to mention, it would be like living in IKEA!

~Environmentally Consciousious - A third of the population rides bikes around the city, many with grocery bags or small children in tow.

~Homelessness - Poverty and unemployment are also extremely rare in this nation of 5.5 million people. If you lose your job, Nanna says the government continues to pay up to 90 percent of your salary for four years.

~Healthcare is free for everyone.

~The Danish government also takes a special interest in mothers and their children. Women typically get six to 12 months in paid maternity leave.

~College - citizens get paid to go the Universities from $400 to $500.

Click here to read the whole article.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Bitchslappin Greatness!

Hizzie


After a month on the market, our house has only had 3 showings. We had an open house with only one straggler too. It's time to step up our game and reduce our asking price. We are going down from $195K to $189K. Hopefully this will bring in more traffic. It's not the best time of year to sell, but there are still buyers out there. Still have no idea what is going to happen if we sell the house. For that, I suppose only time will tell. All I can do is hope and wish for a miracle.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

A Rant

Seriously, does Best Buy need that many employees? All of which are spending more time helping each other than helping customers! Also, just because it's Saturday doesn't mean you can wear pajama bottoms and slippers to run your errands. Not to mention when you are walking out of Kirkland’s with your fellow old lady friends, don't stop in the middle of the line of traffic to use your hands to tell the important part of your story. Here is a little tip Grandma...you are not the only person on the planet. WAKE UP and get the F out of the way!!!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Oprah vs. Dale Hansen

TMZ reported last night that Oprah co-hosted the local news on WFAA the other day when she was in town to film at the State Fair. Dale Hansen, the sports anchor, clearly doesn't give a F*&K and slammed Dr. Phill on live TV. I thought it was greatness. Watch!









Monday, October 12, 2009

Punkin


I love this time of year. Not because of the weather. Not because of Halloween. Not because of the changing leaves. But because Pumpkin is EVERYWHERE and in EVERYTHING! I can't tell you how much I love Pumpkin. I feel like Bubba Blue from Forest Gump I like Pumpkin so much. Some of my favorites are:

Michelob Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale
Pumpkin Pie
Pumpkin Spice Lattes
Pumpkin Curry Soup
Williams Sonoma Pecan Pumpkin Butter
Williams Sonoma Pumpkin Spice Quick Bread
Pumpkin Butter Gooey Cake

If you like Pumpkin, check out 30 Ways To Eat Pumpkin!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

In Da Kitchen


I have gotten back into cooking lately and have been quiet creative. I recently made Cinnamon Chipotle Brownies for a coworker's birthday. I just took a basic Ghirardelli Brownie mix and added in some ground Chipotle Chili Powder and Cinnamon. I have no idea how much I used, but it turned out great! I made a smaller batch for myself this weekend (because I really need it...I know) and they didn't have the same kind of kick the others did. I guess I need to play with the measurements.

Frank also installed a glass tile mosaic backsplash today. I thought I would be able to help, but no dice. Hopefully it will help our house sell faster. I thought it would take a lot longer to do, but he started on it around 4PM today and finished around 8PM. He'll grout in the next day or two so it will be all done for our Realtor Luncheon our Realtor is putting on this Thursday (for other Realtors).

Now that all that is done today, I am able to relax with some vino and my pups and watch some Ghost Hunters...cause I'm a nerd.

I will post pics of the backsplash this week. I want to wait until after the grout is completed,etc.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Shopping


Some of the places I should shop, but don't:
Anthropologie
Boden
L'Occitane

Some of the places I shop, but should shop at more often include:
Central Market
Williams-Sonoma
Whole Foods
Aveda

Some of my staples include:
Ann Taylor Loft
Gap
Target
Tom Thumb
Bath and Body Works

Scuba-Don't, Scuba-Do


Growing up I was always fascinated with the Ocean. There was a defining moment in 2nd grade in the library at school when I checked out a book about Sharks. From that moment on, I was hooked. I attended Sea Camp at Texas A&M Galveston when I was 15 and again when I was 16. I was going to be a Marine Biologist but I didn't have the study skills or motivation to make it through all the math and science. When I was in college, I took Scuba at UTA and got certified. I had just a handful of dives under my belt and then I had the accident. I was never all that comfortable in the water but that was probably because I was just uptight in general and never relaxed. The accident I had was all because I wasn't prepared for basic situations. My mouth got dry (which is very common) and I coughed. The thing I did wrong was not hold my regulator to keep it from coming out of my mouth. So it did and I inhaled a ton of water and panicked. I inflated my BCD and shot myself to the surface. It felt like I was kicked in the chest and I was light headed and close to blacking out. Fortunately I was only down about 20 feet. This was close to 10 years ago and I had not been diving since. Until now. I decided to give it another go and enrolled again at UTA in scuba class. This time is so different. I am calm and comfortable in the water and skills that were extremely hard for me to do before like mask clearing are second nature to me now. I am excited to be back in the water and to get back to my passion. I had missed out on so many experiences over the years in places like Grand Cayman, Aruba, St. Lucia, Puerto Vallarta, Turks and Caicos, and Dominican Republic to name a few. I owe it to myself to not just give up on my passion and to give myself another chance at doing something I truly love. So the question now is...where to next?

Friday, October 9, 2009

Back To Blogging - Random Post

The last several posts have basically said I know I have not been keeping my blog up to date. It's been over a month since my last post and so much has been going on. Most of it too personal to get into too much detail (other than the cryptic Facebook status updates - what was I thinking?). If you are close to me and Frank then you know what's been going on. Things are getting more stable and I am happier. Still a lot to work out. Our house is still on the market. It's only been a month, but we have only had 2 showings and 1 open house with 1 looker.

Aside from the drama the past month or so has brought, I have not been working out and I have been watching way too much TV. Currently, I am watching:

Project Runway
Smallville
Supernatural
Vampire Diaries (lame, but giving it a chance)
True Blood (just finished the 1st season)
Ghost Hunters
Ghost Whisperer
...do you see a theme here?

I have also been cooking again and being more domestic. I abandoned anything domestic this past summer to party like I was 20 instead. Once I figured out this having a kid thing wasn't going to happen, it’s like a switch was flipped in my head and my brain was transported back 10 years. What the hell was I thinking? It reaked havoc on my marriage, my body, my mind. I guess I was thinking if I wasn't going to have children, I didn't need to be domestic. I also had 4 years of stress built up of trying to get pregnant and being let down each and every month. I felt free almost like I didn't need to stay healthy anymore and I could treat my body like a playground of sorts. Every decision I made in the past 4 years had "what if I get pregnant" at the forefront of it. I also stopped working out and put on 10 pounds. So I have been easing back into the gym and hope to be back to my normal self soon.

Anyway, I am bored of Facebook, but will keep my account so I can post links to my blog updates and still keep up with my friends.

I know this was a random post...but my thoughts have been random as of late while trying to rediscover myself.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Life Is A Difficult Task

I have always been a fan of comfort and peace. I have lived in the same house for 7 years, had the same spouse for 14 years and have lived in the same state for close to 30 years. However, life does change. I have a lot of friends who seem to have an easy time taking life as it comes, but for some reason, I can't imagine myself doing the same. If I need to pick up and change my life, why wouldn't it be as easy for me? What is my problem? Why is change so hard? I seem to be resistant. Well, it's because I don't want it to change. In life, there are things beyond our control...no matter how hard we try to control them. People say "you will be ok" and "you will make it through this", but I think that all they mean is that "I will not die and will remain amongst the living". Not good enough. I am willing to fight for what I care for and I am not willing to give up on what means the most to me. I will not go down with this ship. Love is love. No matter how messed up a person may be. We are ourselves before we are joined and we need to take care of ourselves in order to be one. And that is what I plan to do...

More to come.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Reading Rainbow



The only time I ever read is when I travel. I have an upcoming trip to Chicago this week so I plan on reading the True Blood books. I will be borrowing them from a friend, but I did go to Barnes and Noble to get a few backups incase I end up in a different mood. I got Eat, Pray, Love and another book called Up For Renewal. Both titles seem to be perfect for my life at this point. Anyway, I am super excited about my upcoming trip and I am so ready to get away for a couple of days to hang with my girls!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Following The Formula

When did it become necessary to follow a certain formula for life? Birth + School + Work + Marriage + Kids = Happiness? Says who? I thought I had to follow this formula. I thought this was how you did "life", not to mention I have never been good at math. Since deciding not to have children, I have been through a cornucopia of emotions and discoveries. It's been hard on me and Frank and confusing to my friends and those who don't know me all that well. I guess it can best be described as a "mid-life crisis". As embarrassing as it is to admit, I am having one. I have gone through episodes of partying, episodes of depression, episodes of self-doubt, and episodes of not knowing what to do with myself and my life (to name a few). I know I am not the only female in her 30's to go through this scenario, but it feels like it. Sheesh! It's time to start a new chapter of my life and it is scary. Now if I can just figure out how to do it...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Slacker

I have really been slacking on my blog. I have had a lot going on and not a lot going on all at the same time. Sorry to confuse anyone with that. I have not had a lot to write about and have not wanted to post any goofy pics or anything like that. But here is a run down of my life over the past few weeks (at least what I want to share).

1. Had a birthday and turned 34. This year was harder than others for some reason.
2. Went to Eddie V's for my birthday and it was one of the best meals I have had in a long time.
3. Got to participate in the Mouser golf tournament again this year. I will post a link to the photos soon.
4. Booked my flight and bought my dress for Missy's wedding in Chicago at the end of the month!
5. Shannon is coming back!!!!!!!!!!!! I am beyond thrilled, but I also know this is really hard for her and her family having to leave their family in Kansas.
6. Decided not to have children. This is a pretty big one. After trying for 4 years and doing everything but invitro, it was just time to say "uncle" because we just don't want to spend $15K right now. Also, if we don't want to spend the money, maybe we don't want it bad enough. BUT I do feel a HUGE weight lifted from my shoulders. I just need to figure out what to do with myself now. That has been the hard part.

That's pretty much it, although I a sure I am missing something. I will try to be more attentive to my blog. I guess sometimes I think if I am not interested in my life...who else will be?

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Missy's Bachlorette Weekend



Friday night kicked off Missy's Bachelorette Extravaganza. We had a blast! It is always great to see everyone. Here is the run down:

Friday night - Dinner at Joe T. Garcia's in Fort Worth, followed by bar hopping in downtown Fort Worth. We hit up The Library, Fox and Hound, and an "urban" club called Tru Lounge. It was quiet the interesting evening. There were a lot of shots, a lot of drinking, and a lot of fun! I got home by 2-ish.

Saturday - We met at the Gaylord Texan in Grapevine for a day of spa-ing, swimming, and lounging. I got a facial and it was amazing! It is always nice when your facialist says she "doesn't see any lines or wrinkles" and that I "have great skin"! Good stuff.

Saturday night - We all met in Missy's room for her lingerie shower and drinks. Tanya brought Sweet Tea Vodka. I had never heard of it, but one sip and I had a love/hate relationship with it. It is so good, but would be so bad for me to start drinking it (because I probably wouldn't stop). After the shower, we had dinner at Ama Lur inside the hotel.

Sunday morning - We ended the weekend with fantastic brunch. When I got home, I spent some good, quality time on the couch napping.

I had a great weekend and can't wait for the wedding!!!

Friday, July 3, 2009

It's Too Hot To Blog...


That's pretty much it. Not much is going on right now, so I don't have much to write about. Sorry. Gilly????

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Dominican Part 2

I finally got around to getting the Jeep Safari pics off Frank's phone. We took a jeep caravan into the mountains, saw a spontaneous cock fight, and finished up at a beach. I forgot my camera, so Frank took a few pics with his iPhone.







Frank doing his best Matthew McconaugHEY! impression...


Friday, June 19, 2009

Facebook/Life Changes

Facebook and Life Changes. No, not necessarily in that order...but I wanted to clarify some things. Yes, I did change my marital status on Facebook. I also changed ALL of my personal info. I just had to do it one item at a time. I decided to take off my personal info from Facebook. I removed my blog and my birthday, etc. Frank and I are FANTASTIC! No trouble in paradise. I just decided I don't want to volunteer personal stats. People who are on my facebook already know me, so why do they need to know my birthday and place of birth? Anyway, I just wanted to clarify for those who were curious. ALL IS GOOD IN THE LAND OF KIRK!

To address the Wild Child post, I want to elaborate on that. For the past 4 years I have been trying to get pregnant and every life decision I made hung on the whole premise of "what if I get pregnant". Not anymore. I am going to live my life for me and only me. I will buy whatever car I want to buy, Porsche excluded :( and I will do more abs at the gym..ha! Just stupid things like that. I would also like to try some more adventurous vacations. Go rafting or maybe take up Scuba again. I don't know, but I do feel almost re-born in a way. I feel very free and I love it.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Wild Child

Lately I have been "off", but it is hard to explain without embarrassment. All I can say is that I need to grow up. I feel this urge to be wild and to go through a 2nd...2nd decade, if that makes any sense. I am not sure if it is because I have decided that I am ok if I never have a child or that I just spent 9 days decompressing in the Caribbean. I have not been happier in a long time. My marriage is great, my job is great, but I just feel restless. I need to find a way to release my inner wild-child safely without damaging anything or anyone. I'm itchy.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

To Try Or Not To Try...Should It Be A Question?

When we went on vacation, I thought that would be a good time to discuss the future of my fertility and our plans for a family. That didn't happen. Instead, I find myself at a cross-road. Frank has been and will always be happy either way (with or without kids). He has such a go with the flow attitude, it makes me sick sometimes. I mean, I envy it...I really do. Lately, I actually think I might be adopting that attitude. In the 4 years we have been trying, I have been here before. I get tired of trying. Tired of thinking about it. Well, I am back here again. I have so many "what ifs" right now. What if I get pregnant and our marriage fails due to stress? What if I get pregnant and regret that we can't just up and go like we are so used to? What if I get pregnant and our kid turns out to be a nightmare even though we did the best we could do raising it? Right now, I am content. I like my life right now. I don't feel empty. But will I feel empty when I am old and alone with no family? Would I regret not having children? Probably. We do have still have options that we have not tried and I have not been as aggressive as I could be. That is the other part that makes me wonder. If I wanted this 1000%, wouldn't I have already done everything in my power? In a way, I feel numb to anything family related. But that kind of feels good right now.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Dominican Republic 2009

Trip report and pics as promised. This year we went to La Romana, Dominican Republic. It was a relaxing and interesting 9 days. Dominican Republic is a huge European holiday hot spot. We were suprised to not see that many American's. The resort was nice. We stayed at the Dreams La Romana. English is not the first, second, or third language on the island or at the resort. Because of that, it made it somewhat hard to communicate (both ways). Fortunately, Frank does speak some spanish, so that helped some. We are glad to be home after a layover Sunday night in Miami (unplanned of course). Here are some of the pics!

This is the little lunch place we ate nearly every day.

View from lunch


This is a private little pool over by one of the spa gazebos looking over the beach


Day 2 - Catalina Island. Frank did some diving and I did some snorkeling and laying on the beach (which I found is something I am super good at!)

"I'm ScubaMan"...

ScubaMan and his trusty sidekick (at least for the day)

ScubaMan - getting the girl, savin the day!

Shakira's house...according to Gri Gri divers.

Marina at Casa De Campo (the neighborhood Shakira lives in)

View from my lounge chair on the beach


Other random images from the trip






We also did a Jeep Safari into the mountains and a catamaran sail to Isla Soana. I will try post those pics tomorrow because this is already a long post. Since we are on the topic of vacations and if you are planning a cruise, my friend Shannon has a cool new blog with some good info on it. It's not just for vacation tips, but it also has other life tips aswell. You can find her at remarkablyclever.com!